I've just gone from over the moon back down to nothingness. Why do I bother? I shouldn't bother. I've heard all too many times I DON'T have the right to knock myself off..... who fucking decides that? Sure it's selfish for me to leave everyone and have them hurt and whatever else.. but what about me? It's selfish of them to try and keep me here so they can feel better and fulfilled... I don't get it. Sure if I can help it i'm not gonna leave them with a massive mess to clean up but fuck, just let me do this, you know? Maybe I should just get it over and done with... The only thing is I have that whole "i'm so useless I can't even kill myself" thought process due to failed attempts. I'm so sick of this. Sorry about the melodrama, sorry too if I do it successfully. I worry of how Steff will be afterwards.. as well as her own depression..