OH my God help me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jKORE, Feb 7, 2009.

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  1. jKORE

    jKORE Senior Member

    My uncle just killed himself i can hardly type my hands are shaking so bad.
    i dont understand wats goin on i dont no whats going on i cant hold my shit together. my mum got a call not even an hour ago by some guy we didnt even know from sydney and she started freaking out on the phone and i went up and held her and then after she said they found my uncle dead in his place. i booked my mum and stepdad plane tickets straight away to go from perth to see the rest of my family in sydney and for the funeral but i cant go because i dont have enough money for the three on us. i havent cried yet im just shaking i cant stop. i dont know what to do.
    im so bloody confused, i dont understand im a member of a suicide forum and i try to offer consolation to help people if i can and then one of my own family goes and kills himself under my very nose. and i couldnt do a thing to stop it.
    i think im just holding it all in for my mum, i think wen she leaves tomorro afternoon ill break down. oh hell i dont want to live anymore ive been so happy lately. and then this happens to me. oh god i cant stop crying now, im so blloody pathetic. cant even hold it together for my mum its her brother and shes stronger than me. my grandpa is gone, no one can find him. hes run off cos he couldnt handle the fact his son is dead. hes the one that found him in his caravan. my family is in shambles.
    i dont know where to go from here, i dont see light anymore. i think this is an omen for me, that as long as im alive my family will suffer. i dont want to hurt them anymore. i dont want to live anymore. what do i do. God help me
  2. frankie626

    frankie626 Active Member

    Sorry to hear about your loss.. My heart goes out to u and ur family
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey. i am pm'ing you - constantly - so stay on here and talk to me.

    i'm not going to bed for at least 3 hours. insomniac.

    i'm so sorry for your loss. will say prayers for your mom.....and for you.
    you have the strength - to get through this -
    and you have courage. i know it.
    i'm here - talk to me anytime. . . talk to me tonight or i'm gonna get worried! :eek:hmy:
  4. BlueWind

    BlueWind Well-Known Member

    PLEASE READ MY PRIVATE MSG TO U !!! ....... NOW..... STRAIGHTAWAY >>>>>>>>> (((HUGS))) Frank ur mate from Sydney
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest


    i know how you feel mate, over the past 12 months i have lost 2 step brothers, an uncle an auntie and my nan.
    losing a loved one is always going to be tough but to suicide its even worse, being here and trying to understand the problems of others wont prepare you for this shock but you know what you need to do, coz you have said the same to others.
    you need to be strong now, for yourself and for the family, it will be hard and you will want to lose it, but plz don't.
    now is the time to seek our support, lean on us and we will help you, you are strong inside and i know you can get thru this, just give yourself time.
    mourn him, cherish the memories and be the man he would want you to be.

    take care
  6. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    awww jk i am so sorry mate :( i don't know what to say to other than to send love x
  7. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    I feel so sorry for you. Be strong and be there to support your family.
    Killing yourself will just hurt your family more. If you feel like you'll break down just come here and talk to us, you can pm us your msn so we can keep you occupied.

    Stay safe :hug:
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry for your loss :(

    I don't know what else to say except be there for your family hun,they need you :hug:

    Thinking of you, Lynn xx
  9. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss words seem useless at a time like this but I am thinking of you :hug:
  10. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. . . checking in on you. the time zone difference makes me crazy - so i hope you are sleeping - if that is possible.

    take care of yourself right now and hang with your mom as much as possible. , . . i know she's leaving so stay strong. lots of people have reached out to you here -proof that we all care. . . . . lean on us.
  11. BlueWind

    BlueWind Well-Known Member

    Hello James...Frank here... hope ur feeling a bit calmer today...take care of yourself &.... of ur Mum as much as u can...dont stress out just do ur best & nothing more...bestest doesnt exist :hug::hug: :hug:
  12. jKORE

    jKORE Senior Member

    Thank u all for your kind words, from the bottom of my heart i appreciate it.
    you have helped me deal with this tragedy with dignity and strength. i love u all for that.

    last night my mum recieved another call telling her that my grandmother, her mum, had attempted suicide, out of grief for the loss of her son. she is now in intensive care in a bad way. they dont think she will live, her heart is too weak.
    my aunty found her and thought she was already dead, i cant imagine her pain. losing her brother and mother in the same day.
    my family is pretty destroyed by these events, i think it will be a while before things become "normal" again. if they ever do.
    im alot calmer now, thanks to your support. still shaking, thou not as much.
    as for supporting my mum, she leaves for sydney in an hour. i cant do much.
    all i can do is pray that she gets through it, and that no more tragedy befalls my family on this black weekend. we would never recover.

    thankyou again.
    :hug: :hug:
  13. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Hi jk,

    I am so sorry for the loss you and you family are enduring. Times like this , there are no words that can comfort, but just know if you need to talk, we are here for you.
  14. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    J, you know i love you sweetheart
    your family will learn how to cope with this
    my grandma killed herself before i went into
    kindergarden. back in 1999. my mom says
    its cause she didnt wanna live to see
    the new millinium. we had one person
    other than her commit, but since then it's
    gotten better.

    :hug: i know you're strong enough to over come this.
  15. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :hug: I am sorry to hear about your uncle. Everything is happening all at once and you're feeling overwhelmed. Have they found your grandad yet? How are you feeling today? You shouldn't blame yourself for the bad luck happening in your family, it's not your fault. :hug:
  16. KirstyMissJimBob

    KirstyMissJimBob Well-Known Member

    Im very sorry for your loss, I know how much it hurts to lose someone to suicide as my uncle and my cousin both did the same thing. **hugs** if u ever need to talk, feel free to pm me or add me on msn, its displayed below in my sig

  17. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry you hvae had to endure this, you have to remember it was his choice hun, you didnt cause it, so you hvae not done this to your family. just think how your mother would feel to loose her brither then you, she would be unconsolable. your are doing an amazing thing for your family by getting them their flights and holding it in for your mum, believe me. that alone shows strength, then feel free to brake down when your alone, let it all out and you will feel like a weight has lifted, maybe only tempory, but it will help. then you can start to organise things out again, and if need be, therapy is there for people afected by such things hun, in the m,ean time we are all here :hug:
  18. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    What an awful time you are having, I'm really sorry to hear about all that has happened.
    None of this is your fault, how are you feeling today?

    :hug: Hazel
  19. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    how are you feeling today. . . ? how ARE things??
    please take care of wonderful YOU xxx
  20. jKORE

    jKORE Senior Member

    Thankyou all again for your kind words. You will all be in my heart forever. :hug:

    Im doing ok now, i feel a bit stupid for getting so emotional.
    Theres not much to update on. My grandpa came back, he's a total wreck. My grandma is still in intensive care in a critical condition. My mum will be in Sydney till the funeral on friday. And i won't be alone, i will be here with all you, for the rest of my life.
    A million :hug: and :cheekkiss: for u all!
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