• Both the iOS/ Apple iPhone/ iPad and the Android/Google versions of the sites mobile app are now available for download from the resources page. The app is free for all members. This app will allow you to get notifications on your mobile device whenever a thread or forum you watch has a new post, when your thread or posts get replies, when you recieve a private message, etc. The links to download the app are in the resources area - https://www.suicideforum.com/community/resources/categories/example-category.1/

oh my god i'm going to spaz...help me please

Status
Not open for further replies.

TooShyToScream

Well-Known Member
#1
Having an argument with fiance.

Heart is about to explode out of my chest. I can't breathe.

We like almost broke up I think...and I tried talking to my ex for comfort. He didn't answer yet though. But I'm a horrible person for trying.

I feel like he's going to leave me, especially if he finds out I tried to contact the ex. I can't deal with this. I need to die. I can't do it anymore.
 
#2
Hi TooShyToScream,

It sounds like you're very afraid and in a ton of emotional pain right now, which makes sense considering your argument. Is there anything you can do to calm down in a safe way? Take a hot shower, hold ice, scream into a pillow, yoga, etc? When your head is clearer and you are less emotional, you might be able to see a way out of this pain that does not involve ending your own life. Please hold on.
Megan
 
#3
Reaching out for comfort does not make you a horrible person - we all do things we regret, don't beat yourself up about just being human...
 

TooShyToScream

Well-Known Member
#4
No, I've done it too many times before, he won't forgive me :( I either have to hide that I did it, or die. I don't have another choice.

He said he wouldn't leave...so I feel a little better. But holy shit I just had the worst panic attack of my life. I'm still shaking.
 

TooShyToScream

Well-Known Member
#6
Well, I can block texts, but not phone numbers. So if he calls tonight "coincidentally", my fiance will know I contacted him. Or he could even leave a voicemail and might mention me talking to him. Oh god, I am so stupid. I really think I should just kill myself.
 

oval

Well-Known Member
#8
^ no that doesnt sound like a good idea. maybe you can text your ex and tell him not to call you (so your fiance wont find out, in case your cool enough with your ex so that he will understand that)
 

TooShyToScream

Well-Known Member
#9
Okay...ill kill the battery on my phone tonight and won't charge it til tomorrow so I get any calls...then I'll buy the call blocker from at&t and block his numbers. Sigh. I am still retarded though. I can't believe I did that. I freaked so hard.
 

oval

Well-Known Member
#10
that sounds like a reaction id have! i had two big fights with my bf and i just called, texted, emailed anyone for comfort. called crisis line like 30 times. i can very well understand why you needed comfort

oh and he also said he wasnt gonna leave me. but only the thought that there was something wrong, not being close to him, the possibility of him leaving made me go absolutely nuts
 
Last edited by a moderator:
#11
Well I found an app to install that blocks calls...so I should be fine. I'll just check and make sure it works once I get home. Thanks everyone for your support and understanding.

Loudsilence - I know what you mean...it's not like I have friends so he was just my first instinct. I was totally panicking thinking we were going to break up. We didn't though, but I still made a big mistake. Oh well, at least I realize it was wrong and don't want him returning my call, right?
 

oval

Well-Known Member
#12
i wouldnt really look at it as a mistake, since you really needed comfort in that second. dont blame yourself for doing it. nothing happend, he wont call back and your fiance doesnt have to know about it.
its good that youve calmed down :arms:
 
#13
Well the stupid app didn't even work, but I managed to hide the phone calls that I ended up getting the next day for a while. Then guilt ate me alive and he could tell I was feeling bad about something, so I came out with it. Said I tried to talk to him when I was panicking but when the symptoms subsided, I didn't want to anymore. And he forgave me and actually commended me for telling him the truth. He said that I've been looking sad the past day and probably punished myself enough for it. So we made up and all and I felt much better. I'm still going to get a better call blocker though, but this time fiance is aware of it.
 

Lestat

Well-Known Member
#14
Thats good. I bet that took a lot of stress off you :) I guess sometimes being honest with your partners works... Guess I need to learn from you :) good luck, but i'm sure you wont need it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$345.00
Goal
$255.00
Top