Oh no =[

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Melancholy, Dec 28, 2007.

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  1. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Umm, I don't usually post here because I don't usually feel this bad. I don't know what to do. I can't handle it any more. Its too much. Someone help? I don't even know why I'm asking. It's so stupid. I can't help myself because I don't know whats wrong so how can anyone else ever be able to help? I've just gone over the edge and can't handle it. I don't know what to do. Shit.

    I'm shaking all over and I just cut but it hasn't worked any more and I have an overwhelming urge to end it all...but I can't do it this weekend, I have no way of doing it this weekend...but I can't go on like this any longer, it's fucked with my head too much already. I didn't know things could feel this bad. It hurts so bad. I don't want it to hurt any more. Gah.
  2. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    Is it a panic attack or something along those lines? I'm not totally sure, has this kind of thing happened previously? Is it something completely out of your control?
    In the meantime drink some water.
  3. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    I don't know. I've never had a panic attack before but I don't think so. It's just all these really strong emotions have surfaced and I don't understand them all but it's all pointing to me being useless and crap and worthless and I can't cope with them all just being there. I don't know. I just can't stand it. Sorry. Shit.
  4. ithuriel

    ithuriel Well-Known Member

    please don't go:sad:
    i've only been here a couple of days and you were the first person i spoke to.
    you seem a really nice person and would be terribly missed.
    so please stay with us :smile:
  5. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy


    You can PM me if you need to hunny. You are strong, remember that.

  6. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Thanks both of you. I just don't know how strong I am any more. Seems as if all that strength has left me, and no-one seems to have noticed. Stupid me, I should know that people aren't psychic. Shame.

  7. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    It may have left you for a while but not for good. It will come back to you if you stay strong. It's hard but I believe in you

  8. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    How are you feeling now Lauren?

    In your post you say you can't handle it anymore, and "... but I can't go on like this any longer, it's fucked with my head too much already."

    What's "it"? Has anything triggered you into feeling so bad? Anything in particular making you feeling this way or are you feeling low for no reason?

    How is your cut? Take care of it so it doesn't get infected or anything. Try to distract yourself, whether it be in the Coffee House forum, in the Arcade, chatting online, watching a movie or listening to music. You are strong, you may not feel it right now but you are, and you can get through this. Take care of yourself. :hug:
  9. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    Ah, emotions can get on top now and again.
    So what do you think it would take for you to stop feeling crap and worthless?
  10. Drifter

    Drifter Well-Known Member

    Whatevers going on you can talk it through with us, public or private im here
  11. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Resistance. I don't know what "it" is any more. A combination of things I guess. I've mucked up so much recently. People have mucked me up so much. So much seems to have happened but it only just seems to have hit home. And its hit hard and I don't think I can hold on now. Every time I think it couldn't get any worse, it has. I just couldn't handle it if it got any worse, I'm struggling so much even now.

    It's automatic pilot with the cuts now. It'll be fine, I seem to have sorted it out without realising.

    Riverbank, I honestly don't know. I hang on to that shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, I'm not that shit, worthless whore that I seem to be. But the more I go on living, the more I realise that it's the truth. The truth hurts so much.

    Thanks, Drifter. It means a lot to know someone cares.
  12. ithuriel

    ithuriel Well-Known Member

    you're not worthless , the fact you were here to talk to me shows that , though i'm sorry to say i brought the pills anyway:sad: they are downstairs just in case but if you can hold on maybe i can too:smile:
  13. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    try and think of at least one good thing about yourself, and write it down. The mind is a powerful thing, your thoughts can make you feel worthless. And hanging on to something isn't necessarily a bad thing - maybe think about what it might be like to have some self worth and if there's any steps however small you can do to get towards that goal. It ain't easy, but it's possible..
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