I need help. I'm so horrible. I'm so guilty, about everything. About the pain I give to others by being alive, by just existing. I can't take it. I’m dying. I can feel it, I’m getting closer to killing myself each day. I’m planning things. I’m researching, writing letters. Figuring out what to wear. It feels as if the real me is stuck somewhere inside while this new person is getting ready to die. I don’t want to…but…it seems like the only way. I don’t know if anything’s going to improve. I need to do something. I feel so hopeless, so empty. Dead already. Nothing’s working, nothing’s okay. Everything’s just screwed up. But I’m so guilty. It hurts so much.. I can't stop crying. When I do, it feels worse than when I cry. I hate myself. I disgust myself. I don't know what I'm gonna do.. I can't stop shaking. I'm sorry. This is probably a stupid thing to do.