I have been told that I'm going to lose my therapy unless I can lower my levels of SI. My SI is extreme and is heading me towards a section and death. I am trying so bloody hard, and yet there is no point when I'm going to lose the person who is supposed to help me. When things get bad for other people, they get support, maybe more support. When things get bad for me, people walk away, or turn me away. Why? what is it that makes me SO worthless that everyone else gets treatment and I don't. This is going to kill me, and now I won't be seeing anyone I can do what I want to my hearts content. I don't have anyone to be accountable to now. They have given me a license to kill myself. I was trying to live, but I'm realising that it's futile. They want me to die so I should just fucking hurry up and do it.