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Oh wow...

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Passion, Apr 22, 2008.

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  1. Passion

    Passion Well-Known Member

    Everyone, I mean, EVERYONE knows him.
    and no one believes me.
    except one person...whom i just recently met and has been watching out for me.
    let me start from the begining.
    I got in touch with my cousin again,
    bad, bad influence. but I still love her...

    so she dragged me to go drinking with her friends, and I, very reluctantly, followed.
    eventually after being wasted we all went to denny's and they were talking about eating and then just ditching, and my morals werent working correctly and i couldnt voice my opinion because it was just immediatly put down.
    like i said, bad influence.

    so then this guy came, lets call him jack, and hes friends with my cousin and her friends and hes like "no, i'll pay." and so we ended up you know, paying. thank god. and when my cousin and her friends went to the bathroom i was telling him how glad i was that he came and paid.

    so we continued on to my cousins place, where more alcohol was consumed.

    that was day one.

    day two,
    I ended up getting in touch with jack, and i ended up needing a favor from him.
    I needed him to pick up my friend who was in an abusive situation, so he drove me to her house, we picked her up, and then we all hungout and such.
    later that night we went to my cousins house, and this is where shit went REALLY bad....

    okay so the night before this, since i was wasted i ended up telling them all about my ex that raped me.
    and so guess whos there? thank god, it wasnt HIM, but it was his GIRLFRIEND and his BESTFRIEND and im like oh my god.
    and i freak out.
    and well, long story short i end up having a bad flashback and getting insanely wasted to try to forget the fact that they were there and wouldnt leave. (jack tried to get them to leave...)
    and when i told him who the guy was that raped me, he thank god believed me. but i dont think anyone else really did...
    jack said it seemed a little strange, my ex being the laid back pot head type.
    and jack immediatly disowned him, but none of my other friends or cousin for that matter did.

    day 2 was pretty bad...

    so onto day 3....

    after my freak out jack tried to convince me to go drinking with them AGAIN.
    me insisting i didnt want to...
    and him saying i needed to relax and he promised no one would hurt me and no one bad would be there.

    so we go to my cousins house, and guess whos there again? my ex's bestfriend (whom was a bigger problem to me than his new gf, me wanting to somewhat warn his gf. but his bff being someone i never got along with and just a plain trigger.)
    and so not only that, but they then talk about going to my ex's house.
    and jack at this point was like, ok no and he took me out of there and we hungout elsewhere for the rest of the night.

    and so im very unsure about what im supposed to feel, im obviously very thankful jack came along and has been making sure i was okay and trying hard to make sure nothing happened to me. but my cousin, i almost feel betrayed. shes my blood, shouldnt SHE be the one watching out for me? after all, it was HER house?

    its been an emotional rollercoaster this weekend...

    oh, and day 4.
    that day was actually pretty good. no bad people.
    but weird thing is, in the woods, i ended up finding my ex's gf's purse.
    weird, huh?
    just needed to get this out...
    I want to move to another state or country because everyone knows him..

    day 5, (today)
    I was invited to hangout with my cousin again and i said no thank you.
    im not sure if i really want to hangout with her anymore...
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