Long posting...I have been wanting to vent somewhere I can trust for awhile on this..I would love input..I am in a bad place mentally and this relationship is acting like a depressant.. I really believe I need to break up with my current relationship, which only seems to be just a rebound to help me cope with my past and help me overshadow it, to be with someone else when I only knew the monster as posing as a 'bf'...I wanted an actual normal bf so I got into this relationship. Main reasons are he doesn’t seem to care and there are NO pictures of us as evidence we are a couple, and we’ve been together/dating for over 2 years! I have never met his family nor him mine, and have avoided meeting them due to my PTSD and he never cares to meet mine. I think this relationship is a complete flop and has run its course…It hurts but I feel like I need him to become my first and TRUE ex-boyfriend help me displace the past trauma..I don't know..I'm not happy, not healthy mentally with this person either alot of the time. This has been pressing me and KILLING me for months because I will not only lose a physical support (although its not in all the ways I need, but rather feeling objectified a lot of the time as if he’s a type of sexual narc) but also I don’t know where to live. I am terrified of traveling alone, but I have already lived alone before I met him, so I know I am fully capable, it is more money issues right now... The nature of this relationship is repetitive and predictable: I sit in front of my laptop while he games and also looks at his phone constantly. He has a son with another woman who he told me has bipolar (And that's why he left her), and he was in previous relationships with a woman who was openly racist, and one committed herself to a mental hospital (but told me she was "An amazing woman"? I don’t get it? I feel like I’m with a recycled boyfriend who is just passively engaging in a relationship with no real belief in it or values it…He never has come clear about how many relationships/people he’s actually been with either. He’s very vague and secretive, which I LOATHE. I hate liars. At least he’s not abusive but he’s definitely not appreciating me or respecting where I’ve come from, nor the fact he’s promised me so much and it’s all empty lies. My problem the most is that I avoid confrontation, and can never find the ‘right time’ to open up about it, because they get all passive-aggressive and give me the silent treatment. I keep spending the days feeling down on it, because I feel like I'm just dragging it on because I have no choice. We are NOT married. He was married for 3 months I just found out the other night, she allegedly used him and cheated on him..I know he'll never ask me to marry him..I know it..But that's ok. I don't want it. I have been unhappy for months and months, but keep thinking it will get better, they will change and become more 'comforting' to me. He truly acts more like a fk buddy than a boyfriend only really giving me attention for that act.…not like I even care about sex, I don’t. I just want to ‘other’ stuff..the care, the mutuality, the cuddling, the compliments and making sure I’m feeling okay..making some effort to make me feel good. Sex isn’t adequate enough in my view. I could care less about it. He already has a son with another woman and I don’t want children (though he is 'fixed'). I live also with his son when he comes over from his mothers, when he has him. It is mentally tough to have to put on a happy face for a child. I hate it. I don’t want to be around impressionable children, even though I keep to myself and am polite to him, I don’t feel good to be around kids in my mind, just want to be left alone. I am not good with kids. I am angry at him for being one of those guys who gets a woman pregnant and finds a reason to break up with her like bipolar...Now I am in a strange place as not being a parent to his son..but being his dad's s.o..or whatever I am..I am not comfortable with this. He is turning his son against his mother so his son will want to live with him full time, and we will never have any privacy except some nights. I hate being selfish about it, but I hate that too. Only reason it's worked out so far is because they share joint custody with his son..I hate saying it, but I don't want to live with him PLUS his son full time..it frightens me but I want them both to have each other. I will leave. Oh, I understand his son the priority of his life (even above himself as he is one of those dedicated fathers, I can admire that), but he completely sidelines me and just looks at his phone and vapes. Same for days he doesn't have his son, games, vapes, stares at phone. No real substance to this relationship. It's soo dead and been dead. It is only another dead weight on me. I don't know why I can't stand up for myself. I am my own person. This doesn't have to be my life. He even lied about his age when we met, and probably other stuff he lies about. I hate liars.