What am I to do when my most trusted friend stabs me in the face? I have so many knives in my back and heart, I don't know who to trust anymore. I try to act how I would like others to treat me, and all I get is kicked and robed, and treated like... Well My friend just stole my car wrote me a bad check for the rent, turned off the utilities, and and then moved out. I live on SSDi... neveer mind that. Why should I grip about what has befallen me I must deserve it for some reason. I just wish I could figure out why I such a sap. Why I keep letting everybody use me. There has to be a reason why I seem to attract people that just want to kick me in the teeth. I found myself sitting her looking up how to tie a noose. It would be so much simpler to just follow the plan that I have already. I don't even know why I'm doing this. I know I don't want to die. I'm not afraid of it hurting. I know it won't. I'm more concerned about what happens after. But what the heck, it can't be that much worse then what I have now. I'm looking at moving back onto the street,because of the action of somebody else. I have dreams of hurting him, but never will. I'll just stuff this deep inside and let it grow like another cance, eating away at my heart and soon I will just die.