Ok lets try it again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by stephaj, Oct 3, 2007.

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  1. stephaj

    stephaj New Member

    What am I to do when my most trusted friend stabs me in the face? I have so many knives in my back and heart, I don't know who to trust anymore. I try to act how I would like others to treat me, and all I get is kicked and robed, and treated like... Well My friend just stole my car wrote me a bad check for the rent, turned off the utilities, and and then moved out.

    I live on SSDi... neveer mind that. Why should I grip about what has befallen me I must deserve it for some reason. I just wish I could figure out why I such a sap. Why I keep letting everybody use me. There has to be a reason why I seem to attract people that just want to kick me in the teeth. I found myself sitting her looking up how to tie a noose. It would be so much simpler to just follow the plan that I have already.

    I don't even know why I'm doing this. I know I don't want to die. I'm not afraid of it hurting. I know it won't. I'm more concerned about what happens after. But what the heck, it can't be that much worse then what I have now.

    I'm looking at moving back onto the street,because of the action of somebody else. I have dreams of hurting him, but never will. I'll just stuff this deep inside and let it grow like another cance, eating away at my heart and soon I will just die.
  2. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    i'm sorry to hear that hun that your friends have done that to you can i ask why? and i be your friend and do my best to help you out hun :hug:
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Your friend really did treat you badly but you can't blame yourself, there was no excuse for what they did. Sounds like you've had a rough time when it comes to friendships in the past but not everyone you're gonna come across in life will treat you badly, that I can promise you because even through no one is perfect, there are some decent people in this world who don't want to walk all over you or take advantage of you. Maybe you find it hard to believe, I can understand, I used to think exactly the same way, I have been where you are because when it comes to friendships I haven't done that greatly with them in the past either.

    Do you have anyone you can talk to, such as a relative or even a doctor? I do suggest you speak to a doctor especially if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts. You can get support for how you're feeling if you reach out, please do reach out. If you want a chat anytime we're here and you're welcome to PM me. Take care of yourself.
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