ok... not really

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by VoodooWolf, Jul 26, 2007.

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  1. VoodooWolf

    VoodooWolf Member

    sorry for the selfish sob story ahead of time... you don't have to read it's mostly a rant

    it's 1100 on the dot right now as i type this and i'm heading down one of the spiraling trips that i'm sure a lot of you have been through... i havent cut or punched a wall in about 4 months but it is starting to seem not so bad ot do it again least at the moment since i have my knife right here next to me (already put a hole through my bed..oops)

    anyways i have less than a month before i'm 18 yet i'm concidering walking out of the house right now but i know my parents would have cop on me in no time...its happened before.... its just i'm tired of them telling me i'm worthless and selfish and cant do a thing right it's like i have a great time when i'm out of here but the minute i come home everything i do is the worse thing on the planet... i know just another ungreatful teen... i asure you i'm not i love my parents...

    it's just i've been through the shit hole... to much to say here... rape beatings name calling expectations i cant meet seeing people get stabbed.... i'm just at the end of the rope and tired of everyone making me feel like shit... i want it to stop i want to be happy... and to do that i cry and bleed then i'm better but i cant... it would break my boyfriend's heart and that is why i am ranting here becuase i have no one ot talk to ... i'm banned from talking to him today... and when there is no one my knife is my only friend...

    sorry it's long... but thank you for your time...
  2. VoodooWolf

    VoodooWolf Member

    well lost my battle tonight a bit.... not too bad just a few scratches..... still feel like shit though oh well better luck next time i guess
  3. crisis4Life

    crisis4Life Member

    please, you don't need to apologize for writting a lot... it's good that you do.

    I can't say I can relate to everything you say you've been through, although I have known some people with a similar history.

    It sucks to be put down all the time, and although I was not put down, I was always yelled at for crying and feeling the way I have felt my whole life... I was always told I was only feeling suicidal to seek attention...

    I really am truly sorry to hear the things you've had to go through. You are not a worthless person, or incapable in any way. I'm sorry you feel bad right now, no person deserves to feel they need to hurt themselves.

    If you need to talk more, don't hesitate
    and please try to stay safe
    though I don't know you personally, i am sure you are a wonderful person!
  4. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Please don't beat yourself up for cutting, it happened, its over, try to move on, it is not the end of the world, you are doing what you need to do to survive emotional crises. I am doing the same. It sucks to not have anyone to talk to when things get overwhelming. Try reaching out and finding others that you can talk to about what you are going through, you are not alone at all, and you are not crazy, you are just hurting. I can feel your pain, as I am sure a lot of others here can as well. Keep talking, try verbalize the pain instead of hurting yourself if you can.
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