ok, now listen up!

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by kimailis, Feb 14, 2008.

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  1. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    ok now listen up all you people that lost hope in life and such...

    "i feel lonely"-just go outside and talk, smile, work on yourself with a mirror, work on your smile, your posture, your speech and dont be afraid to talk, its just people, not gods or angels, just people like you.

    "i am unlucky/unfortunate"-if you lost 20 bucks, try to get a job. if you fell suddenly in a public place, laugh, and people will laugh WITH you. if you got outside and it is raining, enjoy the rain, its a blessing from above. what i mean is face your bad luck head on with a smile, show yourself that such silly things wont get you down!

    "i am a geek/nerd"-so what? look at today's technology, geeks and nerds rule the world! do what you do best! learn! get good grades! and eventually you will succeed in being the elite of the society!

    "i am useless/talentless"- try doing things different, use your imagination, and never give up. people cant be successful with a snap of a finger, you must exercise yourself a lot and have a lot of trainings in your area, push yourself to the limit and beyond, believe me it is possible!

    "nobody loves me"- thats because your are blind. there is always someone that loves/appreciates/respects you. you meant you want a girlfriend/boyfriend ? are you sure? it is alot of mess, you are limited in meeting other people and so on... if you dont have a girlfriend/boyfriend be happy that you are freeeee!!!! if you do, then be happy that you are not alone.

    "it isnt as easy as you say/i cant do what you say/i am so useless"-in that case just give yourself a slap. i am sorry but sometimes this is the best cure <mod edit: bunny - please do not insult the members>. there is no such thing as "i cant", but there is such thing as "i dont want to"(please dont give me crap like "but you cant fly right? you can use telekinesis right?" its not the case). you can change with a snap of a finger if you want to(for the better of course), you are the ones that are stopping you, so just say "i can" and have no doubts about it.

    and fight! not people, fight your bad luck, fight your life, fight the bad things in you, if you kill yourself you will only prove to everybody that you are a loser, and of course, enjoy the fight, it is fun.

    life is great, even the bad things in it(learn from others' mistakes)
    and remember, no matter what, it always could be worse, so be happy that it isnt.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    is this the "boot up the arse" approach to beating depression ... my psych tried the same speech on me. didn't go over too well there, either.

    :)

    seriously, if it was as easy as just following the items on the list i doubt i'd be here on SF... i doubt if many of us would be....

    while intellectually i can accept and agree with much of what you write, when i'm depressed it is an all encompassing experience, exhausting not just intellectually, but emotionally, physically and spiritually, too. for one month i slept almost all the time. when awake i was in a fog. you say "go outside and smile"... what makes you think i could even leave the house? answer the phone? all i thought about 24/7 was what on earth i could do to make the pain stop. well the pain stopped when i answered "well, catherine you could kill yourself, at least you've made a decision."

    do you not see that depression is an illness... albeit an illness of emotions, the brain, the spirit. do you tell someone with a broken leg to "snap out of it" or do you take them somewhere to get healed, get mended.

    every day i willed myself to "snap out of it" and when i couldn't fix things myself, my depression told me that the only reason i couldn't "snap out of it" was that i was a loser and that i should go ahead and kill myself.

    i was too tired to fight back, and so i attempted.

    fact is, i needed help to lift my black cloud. yes, meds, also the psych ward, a community nurse, some books on depression, and other supports.

    so that's what i think is missing from your list...encouragement for those of us fighting depression to take that scary step and ask for the help we need. that, and a little compassion,

    catherine
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2008
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    *SOMEONE* woke up on the republican side of the bed this morning!
     
  4. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    dazzle, meds wont help you.
    try music, upbeat trance music maybe, that's what helped me snap out of my depression.
    believe me, all of those things are in fact easy, maybe just try to try, new things i mean, smell new scents, oh i know, if you have the money buy a new deodorant with a good and strong smell, buy a new pretty elegant buttoned shirt, change your appearance, personality, behavior.
    just try to face your life, life will always continue to beat you up right in the face just when you get up, you know what i do at the moments like that? i laugh about it, get up and say "thats it? come on, one more time"
     
  5. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    What is it about boundlessly optimistic people their advice so obnoxious? Are you just incapable of seeing the world through someone else's eyes, or what?
     
  6. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    This statement, for instance, is an outright lie:
     
  7. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Wow..

    I honestly don't know what to say to you. If life was that easy, I know all of us wouldn't be here. I'm not saying everyone here is depressed, I'm sure some people could pull themselves out of it, but for most of us, it's almost impossible to pull ourselves out of a chemical imbalance.

    I suggest that you try to not be so judgmental until you, yourself have been in our shoes.


    ""it isnt as easy as you say/i cant do what you say/i am so useless"-in that case just give yourself a slap. i am sorry but sometimes this is the best cure <mod edit: bunny - quotes deleted text>[/B]"

    I think if that's your attitude toward us you'd probably be better off somewhere else.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2008
  8. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    kimailis, with all respect, meds are helping, as is other professional and community support.

    i am a smart, kind and compassionate woman with loving friends and family, who BTW has great taste in music. my appearance and deodorant are fine, LOL, and i am a success in my field.

    did any of that stop me from trying to kill myself? and, when that failed, two weeks later, after 5 days of no sleep, did any of that stop me from trying stab myself, deciding in my hallucinating state that i needed to "cut the badness out of me" as i told the doctors... no, it didn't....

    and why didn't it? because this is an illness. a mental illness.

    i appreciate your upbeat attitude, but i want you to hear me when i say it's not a matter of "willpower" ...

    i'm fighting with everything i have and can assure you that new clothes and a smile on my face is not enough, not by far

    c.
     
  9. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    i know how such world looks like, where nobody likes you, when you are sitting alone, when you know that you are useless and disappoint your parents every day and see and feel your mom crying over your failure. i dont want to rant about my problems and depressions, because i face them and try to make myself useful. i am not optimistic, i never was, i just say what helps me struggle, and it helps.

    and dont say such things like being an obnoxious optimist is a bad thing, such things will kill you eventually, and dont say "ill be glad if it will" because you prove nothing with this.

    nobody promised that life is sweet, and like every single one of you, i learned it the hard way.
     
  10. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    k, are u listening? or just talking.
    do u even want to listen?
     
  11. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    so fight for me then dazzle, i told many people what i am telling you, and it helped them, but if you or any other of those people will give up, i will, and many people will follow me to oblivion.
     
  12. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You know, I read this when it was first posted, and said no, it's not going to get to me. But guess what, it didn't work. Before you or anyone else so blatantly calls me a loser, read my posts. I've fought long and hard, about 30 years!!! So you think I just woke up one day and said "huh, suicide?" Some people spend a life time fighting and giving themselves little pep talks. But at some point, you emotionally and physically give up. There is no more to give or fight with. Yep, as simple as that. You are lucky that you still have optimisim and that you truly believe those things. And yes, they may work for some, but many are just past that point. So you and others may think me a loser, but I think of myself as someone that gave it her all , and just decided the battle was no longer worth the effort. My all is no longer good enough.
     
  13. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    Kimailis, i'm glad that having a positive attitude has helped you with your depression, but you don't know what other people go through, you don't know how sever things are for them, so while you might find being optimistic easy others wont. Some people might be helped by what you've said, but others will need more, so don't tell people this is the only way, because when someone starts to think they should just be more positive and life will get better, and it doesn't, they might just take their life. So thank you for giving us insight to what has helped you, but please do not broadcast it as the one and only way to a better life, as others have said, meds and therapy are valid and often needed options, it is not your choice if others use them.
     
  14. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    k, i am not giving up and i assure you i'm fighting these urges with everything i have. i'm 42, i have great career, friends and family who love me. and still i am trying to die. explain that....

    i just have to say, with respect, that u don't know much about mental illness at all

    c.
     
  15. filemeunderneath

    filemeunderneath Active Member

    brand new but Yikes is all I can say-
    I read the post and felt...overwhelmed, sad and angry. so Yikes!
    ***
    Sometimes the world is a tiny little blip in the darkness-Sometimes it's a giant force bearing down, sometimes the windows let the light in- a little or a lot-

    I think each of us/ all of us has the right to "fight" in whatever ways work for us- but the best most useful check lists don't tend to work unless it's one we've made for ourselves.

    My rules are very simple for each day

    don't self injure
    don't die
    don't kill anyone else

    simple and sometimes it takes a lot to follow em and sometimes just a little bit
    if it wasn't a struggle to follow those simple little rules I made
    I wouldn't be here-
    my two- three- six cents

    :unsure:
    filemeunderneath
     
  16. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    heh, i dont know about you, but i am a loser too, but i dont care.
    i had suicidal thoughts once, it developed into something much scarier.
    accept this or not, sometimes a call it schizophrenia, but i have a dark side, that once was convincing religious people that there is no god(with success), pushing depressed people over the edge, failing my friends on purpose, and i was enjoying it. do you think i am proud? no. what i have created is a bunch of whining emo kids while i was living in a delusion that i was some sort of a death angel.
    i stopped.
    it is hard for me to be optimistic, i struggle for being like that because it pays off.
    i have my own mental problems.
     
  17. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    ok now you listen up!!

    depression is not cure that easily. if you think it is i don't knwo why you are here. are you here to preach your ungodly reasoning. If i could just walk outside and I do go outside frequently....if i could just go out and be happy I would. it ain't that simple sweetheart so gete your head out of thee sand
     
  18. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    so use your pain then.
    suicide will not make it better.
     
  19. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    Well done for getting past all that, but like i said, you havent suffered the same as others have, you never can because we are all different, you will never experience anything from another persons persepctive so you will never know what will help them best.

    Telling people the one way to get better is yours, and insulting them when (and even before!) they disagree, is not going to make you well liked around here.

    If i told you that meds was the only answer would you listen? no, which is why ill suggest talking to a doctor, but also mention other options that i know of.
     
  20. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    i am not here to be liked, i am not here to ease on your pain.
    i know what everyone is different, and that is what i am saying, that only you can find your answer, only you can finish this struggle, by yourself.
    i was just giving suggestions, but disagreeing wont help you, neither agreeing, only thinking will.
    leave your emotions away, emotions make people weak, do things rationally, and rationally suicide isnt the solution, neither sleeping for day or crying every night.
     
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