Hi, I've been waiting for the right time to talk about what I tried to do to myself. I've had an extreemly difficult life and to spite that I'm very robust in my character. However, I have succumbed several times to severe stress, anxiety, anger management issues, SLEEP DEPRIVATION, etc, etc and one suicide attempt (I still can't believe actually happened). <mod edit: *useless*: methods>. It seems to me that my life is exactly, if not worse than, how it was before. Yet for some reason, through my experience, I've learned that some things aren't worth dying over and at the same time, I don't think I'm coping with issues that are continuing since before my attempt. I keep looking for answers and one has been to study psychology at uni, which I continue to learn a great deal from; another source is from my 'experiments' at home (to try to find an open ear) but this is only inspiring hatred, and other negative feelings toward those I care about. My life has been filled with such terrible circumstances that I feel I have no way to circumvent the strain this has on me as an individual. You wouldn't believe the wretched circumstances I've lived through, and I don't remember much of it because I have an unhealthy way of forgetting it, and of ignoring my feelings about it. Recently, I've been trying to deal with my true feelings about the past, how it has/does effect me, this leads to testing ideas and the results confirming - I feel like I can't leave this place fast enough - you see - I wish to move far enough away and be free from my family, I want to change my name and never see or hear from them again. I'll leave it here as it's going to be impossible to respond to a life story, and I wont run out of things to say any time soon. Basically, my anger is turning outward, on those I feel should be closer to understanding but aren't. I feel more like killing than suicide because I've come so close (and it's a miracle that I didn't succeed). Like I said, I'm usually very resilient but facing some of these issues has virtually been 'crippling'.