im going to be honest and plain. im not coping, at all right now. ive started sh'ing again. very anxious, almost panic state most days. trying to distract and get things done etc. works for a short time in the mornings. this late evening time is the worst time of day for me and i know this and thats why i try to do something i enjoy most evenings. but its not working right now. at all. a lot of this is due to upcoming anniversary. im scared to tell my t. this is so crazy and stupid, im old enough one would think to be able to get on with my stuff on my own. but obv not atm. i dont know what to do. pls dont say be honest with my t because ive tried. its hard as i couldnt deal with some options previously given to me. i cant do this long term. im just tired of me and my inabilities.