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Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by MoAnamCara, Jan 12, 2012.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I don't know why or how all these things have hit me tonight.

    I don't know what to share or what to edit.

    Typing this is increasing my anxiety which is already at a rather high level tonight.

    In many ways, its the perfect night. I'm alone. In another way I know I can't do that right now.

    I have never told many things to anyone, ever.

    I don't know how to process when the thoughts, feelings, images come back. I find it so hard to ground myself, to distract, to forget, to just get away from them.

    I have enough going on right now, why does this have to come up AGAIN? and why NOW?

    :cry: I wish I could cry real tears, it has been some time since I've let them go and now they just don't seem to want to.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and sorry I was sleeping...maybe, because you were scared and stressed out, it triggered other feelings/events...I know that has happened to me..hope you are able to express what is going on for you, so that you can feel better...TTY morrow
     
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    yeah it doesn't matter. there are only so many ways to express being violated by ones previously trusted.
     
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm trying to get over this horrendous anxiety when certain things comes to mind. So posting here I suppose is exposing myself so that in time I hope my physical reactions become less. If that makes sense. Its fight or flight and I don't have too much fight left in me, flight is easier. But I can't anymore I don't think. It needs to be faced head on. I don't want another decade to go by and still be haunted.

    Is this also the victim mentality or do these things need to be worked through before that mentality can be put to rest or are they just two separate things altogether?
     
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