J finally contacted me for the first time since we broke up. What's worse-- he was just as nice as he always was to me... he told me that he was in love with the me from highschool, and that after highschool I changed and was depressed and selfconscious all the time- so he left me. Fucking dick! I was always selfconscious and depressed- I finally just let him in to see the real me, and he didn't like it?! He liked my 'mask'?! I fucking hate this so much! I bawled my eyes out-- and still am; even harder than I have every day since we broke up. I can't let anyone in because they'll hate me! I'm just too pathetic. soo fucking sad. I really don't wanna see 2010, now. I'd rather just drop dead.