Okay, honestly, like...I don't even know where the fuck the start. Okay you know what, here, let's start off with a question. If you and your husband switched phones for the day because you had extra minutes on yours that he needed to use, and when you go to use his phone you see that every single one of his ingoing and outgoing text messages have been erased, as well as parts of his call log, what exactly would you think about that? Well, I'll tell you what I think. I think exactly what I said in the title of this post. I'm fucking being lied to about something, I just can't put my finger on what it is. No, I don't think he's cheating on me or anything like that. However, what I do think, considering the fact that he's been coming home looking stoned at least once a week the past several weeks, is that he might be getting high behind my back. Now, why the hell he would do that I have no idea because we've both been getting high together. So why the hell would he feel the need to do it behind my back and lie about it when he can just say to me "Let's go do it" and I'd say "Okay"? Makes no sense whatsoever. I don't know. I'm just so fucking pissed off and confused right now. I don't even really want advice or anything, because there isn't going to be a single thing I can do about any of this. Guaranteed, I'm going to flip out about this and he's going to have some sort of excuse as to why he did it and just deny everything, claiming that he's right and I'm wrong like he always does, and in the end I'm still not going to have enough proof and I'm going to keep being afraid, paranoid, depressed, and just as confused as before. Fuck, man... This is why I can't trust anybody. People lie. Everyone lies. And then they lie about lying. UGH. I don't even know why I bother...like, I really don't...I should just give up on people in general. Everyone says they're so different and they all end up being the same. Oh, and one more thing. There actually was one single text message in his inbox. It was sent this morning from a friend of his, who shoots dope on a regular basis, saying "I'll see you at 11th" meaning 11th street. So, in other words, he met up with him for some reason, and failed to mention such a thing to me before he left. So, yeah. That's why I think he's doing what he's doing. But if he is, I really don't understand why. I mean, if I was adamant about staying clean, and him staying clean, and I was going to freak out on him for it or something, then okay yeah, I'd get why you would lie in that case, but I'm not. I'm fucking doing it with you. So why the fuck?