Okay

[EmB]

At the moment:
-my friend was involved in an earthquake a couple of days ago, in which he nearly died.
-I let myself back into a friendship which I know is bad for me.
-my sister has just stormed out of the house, mad at me. Whilst she was storming out, I asked if she was okay, and she asked "why do you care?". She's constantly mad at me, and as she's my best friend, it hurts.
-my Mum is back with her shitty boyfriend and she's also continuing to treat me as a burden.
-I've put on weight instead of losing it.
-I've had 2 hours of sleep, tops, in the past 72 hours.
-self harm is out of control.
-my depression has gotten significantly worse, especially in the past couple of days.

I'm dealing with the usual things but at the moment these in particular are dragging me down more. I don't really want advice or anything on those, I just needed to get those off my chest.

What I will ask though is that, when times are difficult for you guys, what is something that helps you pull through? Usually the thought that I'll be able to move away to another country and get away from all this is enough to at least make me bear the things that are going on but my depression is getting worse, it's never been so bad, and I'm struggling. I would be grateful for coping strategies that aren't harmful. Thank you.

 

[SinisterKid]

Hiya Em, first time I have reached out in response to you I think.

When I feel depression starting to overwhelm me again I know I have to get my mind occupied before the suicidal thoughts become more than that. So I distract myself because I know it has a 100% success rate with me. I read, I listen to a lot of music, I am learning to play the harmonica, I play a MMO game, and now I am back here as well after being absent for about 10 months. If I am thinking about something else I am not ruminating [thinking bad thoughts] about things that are not good for my overall wellbeing.

Its not for everyone, that I accept, but its major tool in my box of tricks for when times get bad again.

 

[A guy with feelings]

One thing that most definitely helps me is getting here and into chat. You can rant, cry, let things out, and nobody judges you. Everybody is more than helpful and caring. My other outlet is writing. I will write an email telling of my frustrations, my broken dreams, my hopes and wishes. Next day I read it again and delete it. I hope maybe one of these can help you.

 

[Sunspots]

Hi Em

So sorry you're feeling bad.
I've found over the last few weeks when things get really bad I just have to get out of the house, even if it's at 3am. The poor dog has had his little legs walked right off! If it's daytime I'll go round to a friend's for a cuppa.
Always here if you want to chat x

 

[EmB]

Hiya Em, first time I have reached out in response to you I think.

When I feel depression starting to overwhelm me again I know I have to get my mind occupied before the suicidal thoughts become more than that. So I distract myself because I know it has a 100% success rate with me. I read, I listen to a lot of music, I am learning to play the harmonica, I play a MMO game, and now I am back here as well after being absent for about 10 months. If I am thinking about something else I am not ruminating [thinking bad thoughts] about things that are not good for my overall wellbeing.

Its not for everyone, that I accept, but its major tool in my box of tricks for when times get bad again.

I'm not sure how to distract myself, often they're just so overwhelming. Music is something I couldn't live without and I find a lot of comfort in it, but I'm feeling a bit swarmed at the moment to feel its benefits. Reading and playing games are a good approach too.

One thing that most definitely helps me is getting here and into chat. You can rant, cry, let things out, and nobody judges you. Everybody is more than helpful and caring. My other outlet is writing. I will write an email telling of my frustrations, my broken dreams, my hopes and wishes. Next day I read it again and delete it. I hope maybe one of these can help you.

Yeah, this place has been good for that, but I try to limit how much I post. I often feel irritating and like a burden when I'm constantly asking for help from people, especially when on here they've got their own struggles. Writing is good, I love writing. I may try doing some creative writing.

Hi Em

So sorry you're feeling bad.
I've found over the last few weeks when things get really bad I just have to get out of the house, even if it's at 3am. The poor dog has had his little legs walked right off! If it's daytime I'll go round to a friend's for a cuppa.
Always here if you want to chat x

Walking is what I usually do too, I barely sleep so if it's late night, early morning, I'm often out on a walk with the dog. I find that really relaxing and I can sort through my thoughts. I just find myself easily absorbed by them in this state and just because of how bad it is at the moment, I don't really trust myself to go out.

Thank you all for your responses. Sending hugs.

Em

 

[A guy with feelings]

Yeah, this place has been good for that, but I try to limit how much I post. I often feel irritating and like a burden when I'm constantly asking for help from people, especially when on here they've got their own struggles. Writing is good, I love writing. I may try doing some creative writing
Em

PLEASE don't ever think you are a burden! For many, helping is therapeutic! You are in a place where everyone understands because we have all been there. Everyone cares and loves and wants you to get better. Often just venting releases a lot of stress and responses often yield solutions. You will never be a burden!

 

[EmB]

PLEASE don't ever think you are a burden! For many, helping is therapeutic! You are in a place where everyone understands because we have all been there. Everyone cares and loves and wants you to get better. Often just venting releases a lot of stress and responses often yield solutions. You will never be a burden!

Aha, thanks. I still feel it though, I feel like I'm irritating the person on the other end and it may or may not be the case but I still feel like I am. But I'm here when I need it the most and I think that's the important thing. Like now.

Sending hugs

Em

 

[A guy with feelings]

I'm here when I need it the most and I think that's the important thing. Like now.

Sending hugs

Em

You are in the right place. Feel free to contact me in PM or conversation if you like

 

[SinisterKid]

One of the first things we covered in therapy was assumptions. We were given a scenario and then two possible outcomes. We had to choose one of the two and nearly everyone in the group [about 5 of us] chose outcome 1. It was based on a assumption that a person had not spoken to us for a particular reason that we could not possibly know about without talking to the person.

My point, you cant assume you irritate someone here without knowing if its true or not. You consider yourself to be irritating to others, but you have no firm base for that assumption. So put it to one side, and engage with people here, its what the site exists for in my opinion. And most members are more than happy to converse with you for as long as you want/need.

 

[A guy with feelings]

^^^What he said^^^

 

[Sunspots]

^^^What they said^^^

 

[JDot]

I think listening to music I enjoy helps me pull through better than anything. Coloring helps too.

 

[EmB]

You are in the right place. Feel free to contact me in PM or conversation if you like

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Sending hugs

Em

 

[EmB]

One of the first things we covered in therapy was assumptions. We were given a scenario and then two possible outcomes. We had to choose one of the two and nearly everyone in the group [about 5 of us] chose outcome 1. It was based on a assumption that a person had not spoken to us for a particular reason that we could not possibly know about without talking to the person.

My point, you cant assume you irritate someone here without knowing if its true or not. You consider yourself to be irritating to others, but you have no firm base for that assumption. So put it to one side, and engage with people here, its what the site exists for in my opinion. And most members are more than happy to converse with you for as long as you want/need.

Thank you. I think it comes from a friendship where they'd either ignore me completely when I needed help or just told me outright I was irritating, or too much for them to deal with. Unfortunately the friendship I mentioned above. It still rings in my head and I got so sucked into what they were saying I find it difficult to believe anything else, I think.

But thank you. That's a really nice anecdote and I appreciate what you've said because the level of support I receive here is incredible.

Sending hugs

Em

 

[EmB]

I think listening to music I enjoy helps me pull through better than anything. Coloring helps too.

Yeah - thats a good combination. I need to get back into colouring.

Thank you <3 sending hugs

Em

 

[Rugged Lark]

One of the first things we covered in therapy was assumptions. We were given a scenario and then two possible outcomes. We had to choose one of the two and nearly everyone in the group [about 5 of us] chose outcome 1. It was based on a assumption that a person had not spoken to us for a particular reason that we could not possibly know about without talking to the person.

My point, you cant assume you irritate someone here without knowing if its true or not. You consider yourself to be irritating to others, but you have no firm base for that assumption. So put it to one side, and engage with people here, its what the site exists for in my opinion. And most members are more than happy to converse with you for as long as you want/need.

Sounds like an excellent suggestion to me.

 

[thelostintrovert]

Hey, Em.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now or for the past few days and I understand why you're not gonna reply with my message for a while. I know that you have to deal with your own problems first before you you have to deal with others. It's really hard to help someone when you still don't resolve some in your own.

Anyways, in that case. You have to talk someone in here but I think, that it is much better when you can also talk to someone in personal if you can. I hope you also find a friend or a confidant to whom you can really trust. You have to let go of all the bad emotions and let someone know what you're going through. (Just like what I did, remember? ) I also agree with sinister, sometimes, we're just thinking that we may be a burden or irritating to someone but we really don't have any proof for that. I am also thinking that way before. Just think positive, Em. I hope you find a friend to whom you can really talk about it and it is the best way to get rid of your self-harm.

 

[Petal]

What I will ask though is that, when times are difficult for you guys, what is something that helps you pull through?

Hi there, you are going through so much for someone so young. I feel for you. Are you still in school?

As for things that help me when I am down;

Looking at old photos, remembering the blissful past and childhood I had.

Food. Yup, food. Treating myself to an occasional chinese. Comfort eating I guess you could call it.

Exercising, when you are have way through work out and you are working up a sweat, the feeling is great

The samaritans - they help me every so often, you don't have to be suicidal to talk to them and they are brilliant and helpful.

 

[EmB]

Hey, Em.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now or for the past few days and I understand why you're not gonna reply with my message for a while. I know that you have to deal with your own problems first before you you have to deal with others. It's really hard to help someone when you still don't resolve some in your own.

Anyways, in that case. You have to talk someone in here but I think, that it is much better when you can also talk to someone in personal if you can. I hope you also find a friend or a confidant to whom you can really trust. You have to let go of all the bad emotions and let someone know what you're going through. (Just like what I did, remember? ) I also agree with sinister, sometimes, we're just thinking that we may be a burden or irritating to someone but we really don't have any proof for that. I am also thinking that way before. Just think positive, Em. I hope you find a friend to whom you can really talk about it and it is the best way to get rid of your self-harm.

Thank you lost, I really appreciate your understanding. I think talking to someone in person is a good idea, but I would need to find someone I could talk to.

Thank you, sending hugs.

Em

 

[EmB]

Hi there, you are going through so much for someone so young. I feel for you. Are you still in school?

As for things that help me when I am down;

Looking at old photos, remembering the blissful past and childhood I had.

Food. Yup, food. Treating myself to an occasional chinese. Comfort eating I guess you could call it.

Exercising, when you are have way through work out and you are working up a sweat, the feeling is great

The samaritans - they help me every so often, you don't have to be suicidal to talk to them and they are brilliant and helpful.

I've got one more year of college, or sixth form (so yes).

I think food is a bad idea for me, but the rest are good ones. I like looking at old photos especially. I have lots of the times I've spent with my friends, when we all manage to meet up. Its difficult for all of us to be together but it makes the times we are really special, so the photos of that really mean a lot to me.

Thank you - sending hugs.

Em