Haha, this is the stupidest post ever but I'm writing it anyway. I am listening to OK Go. It is making me feel happy. It's making me remember a gig of theirs I went to where I got crushed at the front, sang along at the top of my lungs, and accidentally 'cupped' Damian!! :shy: hmy: It was a genuine accident I swear! :laugh: Point is, for the first time in ages a happy memory is making me happy, rather than miserable because I don't have that any more. This gig was after all the abuse, after all the shit. Before the PTSD, but that's not the point because it was still AFTER the traumatic experience itself. I CAN feel happy! I have felt happy before! And this particular gig is such a random memory. Because it involves a lot of people, a lot of noise, sexual innuendo... But I wasn't freaked out. I was relaxed and happy! I can do it, damnit!!