Old and worn out

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheViewFromHell, Apr 20, 2016.

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  1. I'm in my fifties in chronic pain and have been severely depressed for 7 years now. I have tried every possible option including ECT and many experimental treatments. I tried to get the brain operation for Deep Brain Stimulation but the clinical trial has been cancelled. I am just waiting for the details on legalized euthanasia to be worked out here in Canada and then I will apply for it. I don't think I am being crazy at all to do this. It's really a logical next step given everything I've tried and been through with no results. My life is effectively over anyway. I am old, worn out and incurable. Time to go.
     
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey there VFH, I'm sorry to hear you're suffering so much. I wonder if your depression is related to chronic pain, is there no way that the pain can be controlled. I'm in Canada too, I know that there are pain clinics that specialize in treating it. Never been to one so don't know much about their success. I'm assuming you've tried all the antidepressant medication too. I wish I knew how to help you my friend, unfortunately I don't, but just wanted you know I'm sending positive thoughts for healing and pain relief. Glad you came to the forum at least you have people here who understand and you're not alone. Take care
    Brian
     
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  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, chronic pain is extremely hard to live with, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. May I ask what is causing the pain, where the pain is? We cannot discuss euthanasia here but we can offer a helping hand in supporting you through this. What medications are you on? Have you seen a professional about your thoughts? Here, we di care so keep sharing your story with us.
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry to hear how you suffer.

    Like Brian said, there's a good chance your depression is linked to your chronic pains, it is something that is very hard to deal with. What is causing your pain? Maybe you need some help to make it more bearable? Have you considered group therapy for chronic pain?

    What about DBT or CBT treatments, is that something you have tried?

    Please don't give up hun. I know you're going through a lot, and I know very well how desperate chronic pain can make you feel. But please give yourself another chance!
     
  5. Like I said, I have tried everything for the last 7 years. I am at the end of the road for treatments. The pain is due to arthritis and peripheral neuropathy. Treatments for these things are still poor. I have tried every concievable treatment for depression including those named above. Nothing works. I have seen multiple doctors and researchers--the best and most reknowned in the country, people who aren't just psychiatrists but doctors of psychiatry ie MD, phD doctors at the top psychiatric hospital in the country.
     
  6. I am a really, really persistent person but at some point you do come to the end of the line.
    Drugs I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Nortriptyline, Parnate, Effexor, Cymbalta, Sertriline, citalopram, escitalopram, amytriptiline
    As add on or adjunctive drugs: lithium, cytomel, abilify, another antipsychotic I can't remember the name of, ritalin, dexetrine, trazidone, pramipexole, intranasal ketamine
    Stimulation Therapies: Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, deep TMS, Magnetic Seizure Therapy, ECT
    Talk Therapies: General Supportive, CBT, DBT, Interpersonal, Individual and Group in Day Hospital programs
    Exercise, Fish Oil,
    healthy diet and other numerous supplements
    No one can say i haven't tried hard enough or long enough. I'm done.
     
  7. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    You've definitely given it your all, I'm so sorry that none of this worked for you. If you ever want someone to talk to please message me.
    Brian
     
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