Old forum post made me sad

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by crying_wolf, Sep 4, 2015.

  1. crying_wolf

    crying_wolf Active Member

    So i recently started browsing and login in back with my old forum account, that made me sad, worried, hopeless i dunno. The reason is that i found one of my old post and cant believe that now i am 30 and i still in the same spot, probably worse because i am older and to be honest kind of homeless because i dont work or do anything. Is weird, i feel like so afraid to go out, to talk to people is like panic and therefore if you dont talk or go out you cant get a job. I wish someone would just push me a little and say for example i got a job for you, you know so i get pushed i don't know. Everyone is so disappoint at me i feel it, we now have financial troubles and all i do is sit and wait for things to happen but i cant, i dunno what is it i am afraid of what ppl think of me, low self esteem, social phobia, afraid of chance, cant deal with trouble or problems i dunno what is it.

    Don't get me wrong, i like life, i wish i could be normal and do all that, have a job and live ok but right now this is not living i rarely even see the sun, i am kinda in jail but in my own house. Why me, why i have to be this way, 6 years passed since that post (unbelievable how time pass by) and it haven't got better. Anyway that post make me sad, knowing i wasted all those years and the future don't seem very bright.

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