Hey everyone,
This post deviates from my usually positive or otherwise healthier introspectives in that I'm feeling pretty down. It somewhat comes out in this post: https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/seems-i-have-adhd.164283/ which I just wrote. I'm getting really down on myself and thinking negatively about myself and my self-esteem isn't going too well. I'm experiencing older thought patterns which I had while I was depressed. I'm not sure I even want to write about it. Things just swimming around my head repeatedly, right alongside the symptoms of my condition(s).
I'm staying up all night. I'm seeing the pdoc tomorrow for sleeping meds but I'm going to ask for an assessment for ADHD or at least a referral to someone who can dx ADHD, since I'm unable to access the clinician who dx'd my asperger's. I think I'm just writing for the sake of keeping myself level and focused on something other than my predicament. Really makes me appreciate the way ignorance is bliss. I could have gone my entire life without knowing how much I suffered certain conditions... maybe not so much with asperger's. At least at first, and maybe not too long ago, before I found out a little more how ADHD was impacting my thought processes, etc.
Now those asperger's symptom recognition are reappearing with ADHD symptoms, and I'm not sure what I can do about it atm...except write and hopefully find myself feeling better for having written it down in the first place. Maybe I'll hear back from some of you and maybe that will help me out in some way but right now I'm just sort of falling in a hole. It's not nice to experience this after doing so well for so long. I'm hoping it's only temporary and I don't let ADHD consume me as Asperger's did. Maybe it's just my only known response to negative insights about my behaviours. Maybe I'm simply not as happy as I project. Putting on a brave face isn't new to me but now I don't even feel like doing that.
This post deviates from my usually positive or otherwise healthier introspectives in that I'm feeling pretty down. It somewhat comes out in this post: https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/seems-i-have-adhd.164283/ which I just wrote. I'm getting really down on myself and thinking negatively about myself and my self-esteem isn't going too well. I'm experiencing older thought patterns which I had while I was depressed. I'm not sure I even want to write about it. Things just swimming around my head repeatedly, right alongside the symptoms of my condition(s).
I'm staying up all night. I'm seeing the pdoc tomorrow for sleeping meds but I'm going to ask for an assessment for ADHD or at least a referral to someone who can dx ADHD, since I'm unable to access the clinician who dx'd my asperger's. I think I'm just writing for the sake of keeping myself level and focused on something other than my predicament. Really makes me appreciate the way ignorance is bliss. I could have gone my entire life without knowing how much I suffered certain conditions... maybe not so much with asperger's. At least at first, and maybe not too long ago, before I found out a little more how ADHD was impacting my thought processes, etc.
Now those asperger's symptom recognition are reappearing with ADHD symptoms, and I'm not sure what I can do about it atm...except write and hopefully find myself feeling better for having written it down in the first place. Maybe I'll hear back from some of you and maybe that will help me out in some way but right now I'm just sort of falling in a hole. It's not nice to experience this after doing so well for so long. I'm hoping it's only temporary and I don't let ADHD consume me as Asperger's did. Maybe it's just my only known response to negative insights about my behaviours. Maybe I'm simply not as happy as I project. Putting on a brave face isn't new to me but now I don't even feel like doing that.
