Old member returning....

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by whybother?, Jul 31, 2014.

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  1. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    firstly hello people who remember me

    i joined up to this site just over 9 years ago, I was on here pretty much every winking second i was awake.. Now I'm older and have a house and full time job I've been doing other things..Ok life story over with..now the reason why I'm back

    I've not self harmed in a long time, Till yesturday..Overwhelming depression and feeling alone drove me to do it.. and i sit here now typing this thinking to myself i could do it again, just for the release.. I'm great at hiding the cuts so people don't see them so i can get away with it..

    I questioned myself this morning why i did what i did after not doing it for so long.. after looking through my old threads on here I've come to realize that its for the same reason i use to do it before..loneliness, Every thread people use to say ''things will get better'' but 9 years later I'm sat in an empty room .......alone......... So f**k it gonna carry on cutting and carry on with the same shit that was getting to me all those years ago..things don't get better they haunt your life till you die
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Welcome back! I'm sorry you felt so badly and had that bit of a relapse. But I think that it is a very human thing to do, and so you shouldn't feel horrible over it, or let it get to you. You should be proud of the amount of time with which you were able to avoid this behavior, and perhaps even, dare I say reward yourself somehow (hopefully healthily). In any case try not to live in the past and realize that you have all the power in the world to control the future. Good luck to you!
  3. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    You've gone some time without doing it so congrats! I agree with mister, reward yourself it may start a new pattern of behavior for you so you won't fall back. I'll be honest it freaks me out a bit you say it will haunt you till you die cause I worry a lot! Especially about not improving but when I fall down I just try again with a new approach.. Good luck to you
  4. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    i buckled and have self harmed again, yea i did do very well not to self harm for along time but sadly it does haunt you..everyday i wasn't self harming i was thinking about it in some way...
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