I'm at my grandparent's place to visit... It's very quiet- a village up north- nothing's open- nowhere to go... I can't be comfortable here anymore. This place scares the shit out of me quite frankly. Grandpa is always drunk and half in the sack- and Grandma is just so frail and weak that I feel like she'll break in half if I touch her. >< Yesterday consisted of 2 hours of arguing with gramps about how he shouldn't take the machine out on the lake because it isn't frozen yet- cleaning the house- bathing the CATS >< AHHH!!- spending 3 hours making a dinner that Gramma couldn't eat because she was feeling sick and went to bed early; and gramps didn't eat because he disappeared on his machine somewhere... -__- I love my grandparents, really- I do-- but this is why I don't visit them as much as they would like. I should treasure any time I get with them these days, because days are numbered but this place makes me miserable and weepy when I'm already borderline suicidal. TODAY- gramma made me go through her 'good jewlery' and bag pieces that I like so that she could leave them to me in her will. Apparently she made the other granddaughters do it too... but it was just awkward and seemed wrong. @__@ I can't tell either of them how I'm feeling right now either because they'll worry. I've got to just stay calm for a few more hours... then they'll be sleeping and I can watch TV until tomorrow morning when I leave. :dry: ...ugh. I feel like such a bad person.