old people make me sad...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by KittyGirl, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I'm at my grandparent's place to visit...
    It's very quiet- a village up north- nothing's open- nowhere to go...
    I can't be comfortable here anymore. This place scares the shit out of me quite frankly. Grandpa is always drunk and half in the sack- and Grandma is just so frail and weak that I feel like she'll break in half if I touch her. ><

    Yesterday consisted of 2 hours of arguing with gramps about how he shouldn't take the machine out on the lake because it isn't frozen yet- cleaning the house- bathing the CATS >< AHHH!!- spending 3 hours making a dinner that Gramma couldn't eat because she was feeling sick and went to bed early; and gramps didn't eat because he disappeared on his machine somewhere... -__-
    I love my grandparents, really- I do-- but this is why I don't visit them as much as they would like.
    I should treasure any time I get with them these days, because days are numbered but this place makes me miserable and weepy when I'm already borderline suicidal.

    TODAY- gramma made me go through her 'good jewlery' and bag pieces that I like so that she could leave them to me in her will. Apparently she made the other granddaughters do it too... but it was just awkward and seemed wrong. @__@
    I can't tell either of them how I'm feeling right now either because they'll worry. I've got to just stay calm for a few more hours... then they'll be sleeping and I can watch TV until tomorrow morning when I leave. :dry:

    ...ugh. I feel like such a bad person.
  2. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    Oh don't feel bad. They know they don't have much time left because of their age, and that's why they want to leave some of their stuff in their will to you. Look at it this way. When you get to that age, just be sure to leave something to your grandchildren, children, anyone it will help, and tell them to return the favour.
  3. SelfMadePrison

    SelfMadePrison Banned Member

    I dont think you should feel bad.. this is your feeling and I encourage you to examine it more, what is the deepest part of your being telling you, what is the purpose of these thoughts?

    I dont have any grandparents alive anymore, I only ever really knew my Grandmother from my Dad, but she passed when I was 6.. so my thoughts and feelings on old people come from seeing them in society and I get this energy to be active when I see old people who look terrible because I dont want to end up being like that, I feel similiar when I see a healthy looking old person but thats because I see them like a mentor.. when I see old depressed/cranky people it compels me to soul search and take a stand against my own methods of coping with depression cause I so badly do not want to be that cranky old man who blames everyone else loudly but inwardly blames myself... I felt bad quite often for thinking and feeling these, but I refuse to let it rule over my perception cause I dont think its evil, its just perspective.. how can you use it to do something positive for yourself.

    I hope I dont seam like I am just abunch of hot air or insensitive.
  4. Escapist

    Escapist Well-Known Member

    I live at my grandparents.

    And i'll be honest, they can be annoying. Though I know that they mean the best with their actions. Like, my grandmother checks up on me, a gazillion times a day. And grandfather always thinks he knows it better, and thinks he is being a great help. While he really isn't. It can be funny really.

    I love them, though I often don't show it. While I should. They have given me a home, where I can live. I can rely on them, and they can rely on me. Though, I just think I should show it more often, especially because they won't live for ages anymore.

    You shouldn't feel bad. It's that our generation differs from theirs, which makes putting up with eachother rather difficult at times. And they can be so stubborn! Gosh.

    Oldies can be such silly people though. :p

  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    You are not a bad person. I've learned that all of us go through conflicting emotions about many situations in life.