Old Scars

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by *dilligaf*, Mar 28, 2010.

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  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Someone who I've known for the past few months turned to me tonight, pointed at the scars on my arms and asked me what I'd been doing to myself? Like I pointed out to her, they are like over 2 years old .. but that doesn't mean anything does it, not at the end of the day.

    People are always going to see those scars and think the same thing. Think I'm the same person I was those years ago. And I'm not ...

    ... Thing is, how far away from it are we ever really?

    It's a scary thought :(
  2. Mat Voleido

    Mat Voleido Well-Known Member

    I get hung up on that question too, sometimes. I thought about far in the future about my future fiance/wife would say if she ever saw them, which she would. So much pressure on males to be "strong", what kind of reaction would she have?

    And then there's the more present time, when people notice. Even though they're old, people still judge you the same.

    It's been a while for me though, and 2 years is a huge accomplishment. They'll fade more and more with time. I guess at the very least, we should take solace in the fact that we're over that cycle of self-harm. Now we're just in the recovery stage, of sorts. We've just gotta keep holding on to what we've got...
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Very good points, Mat :) Thanks for the reply.

    I guess it's just hard when people judge you on a thing in your past rather than the person you are at this moment in time .. but hopefully as the scars fade that will too. :)
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think people seeing the scars will make them see that you are a strong person to have gone through the pain and have healed some like your scars. There are creams that i bought at pharmasist that can fade the scars I wish there was something to fade the inner scars as well. take care you have accomplished much keeping well
  5. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    violet- I wish that were the case. But in today's society, with the amount of stigma against self harm, and indeed, all mental illness, it can be very hard to see how strong a person is. To some people, if you hurt yourself, it means the opposite.

    I get hung up about my scars sometimes. It's starting to get warm here, so naturally, short sleeves and shorts. Every morning I wake up to the scars on my thighs (their going to be there forever, too deep and too long to disappear.) and then I see the ones on my arm when I'm putting on my clothes.

    I think the important thing to remember is that, although other people will not see you as a strong willed individual, it's the farthest from the truth. I'd love to see half the assholes I've met in this world go through what I went through, and experience the pain I put myself through, and what my illness did to me. I'd love to see some of the cowards of this world handle it the way I handled it. This can go the same for you, too. Everyone in this forum has gone through pain, but the thing about pain is that it is cowardice leaving your body. The more you get, the more you can tolerate.

    In short, self harm isn't something to get hung up about; be proud you made it through. Don't hide your scars (I like to call them 'battle marks'), embrace them. Let people know you went through the pain, let them know when you get a prick from a needle at the hospital you don't cringe, let them know when you stub your toe you don't whine. Let them know that no matter what, you're stronger than they ever will be because of what you went through.

    tl;dr: You're fucking awesome.
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