Old wounds come back

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by justsomeonehere, Apr 29, 2008.

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  1. I'm mid 40's, female, have a great job, have raised a child on my own and by all standards should be a happy person.
    But I'm not.
    During college I tried to commit suicide.
    I had a bad childhood, so what, who didn't.
    My child is now 20 and moving on.
    There are symptoms appearing that I recognize.
    How do I know if I really have issues coming back that I need to face or if I'm just feeling sorry for myself?
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Suicidal ideation does not age like wine; if you fear it or think about it, for any great length of time (everyone kicks the car when the tires go flat at some point in his/her life), it is something to explore...have you spoken to a professional about this? if you feel anxious about what you are perceiving, it is a good reason to seek guidance...please PM me if I can help, big hugs, J
  3. I have not spoken to a professional about this...at least not now. 20 yrs ago I did but it got me nowhere, I felt like I just said what they wanted me to say so I could get out of there. That, to me, makes me think I was just being stupid and feeling sorry for myself and really didn't have a problem.

    The problem now is I think I do have some issues...long buried issues that I've been able to ignore for years because of distraction of a purpose.

    Some days I wake up and feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world for what I have and I should stop whining and feeling sorry for myself, buck up, no ones really happy - everyone just survives.

    Other days I feel like thats all just a mask, I'm fooling myself, distracting myself. Some days I really just have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do with myself, whats my purpose, I have no desires, no goals, no patience for people...why?

    I'm a functioning dysfunctional...if thats possible.

    I don't want to be the type of person who blames self-induced problems on a childhood or past. I don't want to lose my job. I don't want to embarrass my child. I don't want to make things worse.
    How to do I talk to someone?
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There is the American Psychological Association in the US; most universities have very qualified clinics and private practice arrangements; ask ppl who have been in treatment for a referral; major hospital settings also have Departments of Psych...not sure where you live, but if it is the US and wish to PM me, I will be glad to call around and see if there exists a source of referral in your area...sorry, but I am clueless outside the US...all the best, J
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