Older Children in the Home

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by PattyCO, Apr 8, 2008.

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  1. PattyCO

    PattyCO New Member

    Hi - I have my 21 year old living at home (going to college). He has an 18 year old girlfriend (who I also love). Together, they are like oil and vinegar. They argue all the time and loudly. I internalize and somehow end up depressed after their loud arguments. I am a single mom who also has my mom living with me. A lot of stress, divorced for years, no dating and I work from home. I am in crisis. I know the logical answers but please feel free to provide these suggestions again. Thanks!
     
  2. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Pull your son aside and let him know about the problem on one of two levels:


    Level 1: Please don't argue in the goddamned house, this home is supposed to be a place of peace where we all can relax and you're disturbing that peace

    Level 2: Please don't argue in the goddamned house because when you do, it makes me feel depressed

    Whichever you choose.

    Also, depending on how close you are with his girlfriend, tell her too.
     
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    That solution skirts the issue at hand here, though, that issue being your response of internalization when faced with external conflict.

    I assume you have done more than your fair share of thinking about why you have that response (childhood events?), but if you haven't I suggest it.
     
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