I have liked a man named..I don't want to reveal his name..but, I have liked him for 3 years now going on 4 and he is 29 years older than me.. I am 17 years old and have liked him since I was 14. He was married at the time..but he would stare at me all the time in church..I came to find out that he thought I was hott..He told me I was hott in a email that I wrote to him..the thing is..he goes to my church and I am so obsessed with him and can't let go of him..He's divorced now with 2 small kids..4 and 2..:unsure: Now, he lies to me about small stuff that he did concerning me..I feel treated so unfairly..His ex-wife is now 23 going on 24..he must've married her when she was 18 because they didn't have kids until AFTER they were married and now the oldest is almost 4 ifn ot 4 already...Like I said, I am obsessed with this dude and can't let him go..When he says som,ething to me I don't like, I go drink this stuff that I mixed together..Its mixed with cool-aid and nailpolish..I'm very suicidal..I told him I wasn't anymore so he wouldn't feel weird about me..but I love him and am obsessive!..I don't know what to do..HELP!! My gps don't know about this..and if they find out...I will commit suicide!! I can't talk to any1 at my church about him..because it is considered gossip..and they will go back and tell my gps..! I need major help.. Plus I"m not allowed to date..