Warning May trigger... please keep safe!!! I just don't know... I left hospital so positive and ready to give living my best effort and I have been out since Monday night and here I am stressed, shaking, tearful and thinking of self harming again, this time I'm so upset the thoughts are more violent!! The consultant said I had to go under the Home Treatment again and couldn't leave hospital until I had an appt with them,I asked the nurse and he said they would ring me - well they haven't and I just can't bring myself to ring them... So here I am at home, I had to promise consultant I wouldn't be on my own... well my husband took leave and for what???!!! I was on my own within 10mins of getting home from hospital as my husband didn't cancel my sons usual activity so that was it. we got home they left and I had to sort my daughters dinner, bath, getting ready for bed etc... then yesterday morning he was out seeing a friend all morning till after lunch and then last night he was out till near 10pm and tonight he has invited friends over - ok they are bringing food as I have just got out... HOWEVER.... its still the stress of the major clean up (as things have been left as/while I have been in hospital) I can't do this... AGAIN.... the feelings and stressors are still there!!!!!!!!! Oops too many tears now!!!!