Omg so freaking out right now...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by BornFree, May 6, 2013.

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  1. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    H went thru S's phone & found thesites hes been on & hes been on here... As well as other scary sites oh god & Im sick & havent been coping so I havent been there for him oh god I feel like Im cursed that child is everything to me how can I know how to help him when I am not coping myself. Oh god when I thought things couldnt get much worse.... it kills me to think how much he must be hurting & its all my fault I am why he has those issues in the first place then horrible thoughts cross my mind thinking i should just end it for all of us??
    Fridays tests will reveal all... C or no c i wish i knew what to do or how to help him i dont think i can keep going
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You help him by talking to him by being open and not evasive ok He does not want to be kept in the dark hun He wants to be able to help you and yo can help him to but only if there is open communication hun Get some counseling for you both ok hugs
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    the fact that he came here is because he's seeking help...I'm sorry you're ill, but don't hurt yourself more by thinking you're not there for him. By being here, it shows that you care. Talk to him. Let him know you love him, and that even though you are sick, you are there for him. Tell him that you are impressed that he seeked out help...maybe take him to the doctor with you so that he is involved and not left out...maybe get information about your illness and share it with him
  4. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Thank you for replying TE & Morning Rush :grouphug:
    He seemed almost upbeat this morning which terrifies me as I know thats how I am when I have decided something...
    The sites he has been on are REALLY SCARY & altho I cant say here... As I would hate anyone else to go there... They prove he is actively planning... Oh God I cant breathe I have chest pain & cant believe all this is happening when I have appt at clinic with oncologist etc. I no sooner think I can just about handle everything then it all explodes in my face.
    I cant fix things for him... His social issues, the prom his physical appearance I carry the disease he got it from me!!
    Maybe it would be better if we all left... What kind of a future do we have anyway!! He had to go to school he has finals... I think he needs anti depressants but then if I say something he will know we looked at his phone & then he wont trust us... Or worse he will feel ashamed... I am such a useless parent I cant do this I dont know what to say or do I cant promise him a future... Hes seen mine so he knows the pain that awaits him & DD has it too. I am so..oo..oo sorry I have passed this on... I was so naieve thinking 50/50 & as my sister was ok that oh god people are so cruel... Why cant they see past outward appearances?? sorry I am rambling.
  5. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    sorry i said anything please close this thread.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Just want you to know I'm here and I care.
  7. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.

    First you have no reason to feel guilty for having passed on a disease/disorder. I have a serious blood disorder, and before I ever got pregnant, I asked numerous doctors if it could be passed on. They all said no. Later I was told my blood disorder was actually ALPS, and yes, it is passed on, and yes, my son has it. In addition, he has Von Willdebrands from his dad, which we didn't even know his dad carried.

    You need to talk to him. I don't care if he is embarrassed, or mad, or whatever. I have had that talk with my son. We have both suffered from depression from our illness. But in talking about it, we have made a pact with each other that neither one of us would give up and take our lives. I know that has been the only thing keeping me going. If we hadn't talked, I know at least one of us would be dead, probably both.

    Keep praying. Keep hanging on. And keep talking.
  8. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    double post.
    Last edited: May 7, 2013
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