On a new bad road ? *may trigger*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Clouded, Nov 16, 2007.

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  1. Clouded

    Clouded Member

    I'm not as close as most people on here seem to be. The first time I SI was after my first serious relationship broke up. I took the scissors and I lightly scraped the blades over my arm. Nothing more then what looked like a few dog nail marks. I'm not sure why I did it then, I wanted him to see on the outside how I was hurting inside. Years later even with bouts of depression I hadn't done anything like it again. Until the same situation came up again, a relationship ended and while crying I ended up pulling my nails down my face to the point one left a mark and again with the scissors. It has only happened in these times. It's very confusing because I have never considered myself as a 'self harmer' but I guess I am on that road.
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    welcome to the forum!!
    as you did it twice, you still can get out of this. i´m not telling you what to do, but afters 5 years, i still regret that first day i hated myself. you should cry or shout or do any of the copping techniches that´s you´ll find around here. specially now that you repeated it. once you start doing it often, you´ll be lost. and i´m saying this because i don´t feel any regret about it, but i can´t use short sleeves,or a dress without them, or go to a pool, use skirts. go to the beach and a lot of more things. i don´t regret it, but i´m sure you don´t want that. Neither of us wanted that. this is just the beginging, and i can tell you that you´ll regret about it. and you will suffer if you don´t do it. you´ll become a slave of the pain. i don´t want to scare you, but i care for all of those that can get away harmless. take care buddy. i hope coping thechichs works for you..

    remember you can pm me at any time. once again welcome!!
  3. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    Hi, I really hope you can stop. Im a pretty big time self harmer... and as was said above, I can't really wear anything showing my arms or legs and it really sucks. I dont want that to happen to you...
    I hope you can find a way out of this...
    It helps a lot to talk to people and if you ever need to talk can pm me too...
  4. riz

    riz Senior Member


    I know that my first and second times cutting were crucial. I was a lot younger, and like in your case, they came in a pattern. Like Jane has said above, recognize what you're trigger is and try to use a coping mechanism in place of violent behavior.

    If you are having a hard time finding something to replace your reaction, please PM the many supportive people on this website--including me. I have been SI'ing for 10 years, and I can tell you first hand how destructive this can become. Don't let it happen to you.

    Another thing that has helped me is to find a councelor. Many places offer free counseling, like your school or community center. All it takes is a couple of anonymous phone calls and you'll have someone to talk these feelings out with. Even if you don't think it could help you, it wouldn't hurt either. Just give it a try.

    Please, stay safe. No end in a relationship is worth hurting yourself over. You deserve happiness.

    With love,
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