On day Off day

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BigTomTooToo, Feb 1, 2012.

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  1. BigTomTooToo

    BigTomTooToo Well-Known Member

    How D o You View The World??? :|

    1 second I want to live the next half day I want to die... but I'm not super depressed now that I've been looking into suicide so much haha. It kinda through me off balance, opened my eyes .. just a little though. I'm trying to justify looking at life in a different way though. Like why is death/suicide so evil? Our lives are short, the universe is 12.700.000.000 years old and we get 78,8 years :laugh: There's 7.000.000.000 little walking sticks on this planet and many more hundreds of billions have passed before us. Why can't I make myself see the opposite of life in a beautiful way? I'm not even clinging onto anything. There's nothing here I want, I would make a good millionaire though, which I shall never come close to becoming, I will never be a superstar nor super successful. I was born into the body this mind and I just don't care be and This ball of rock is beyond boring. This world seems so much like a matrix to me. (I used to love to smoke weed but now I can't even do that because I'm so bipolar and it fucks with my head now. So I can't have fun doing drugs anymore. :nonchalance: ...)

    Does anyone else feel like this place isn't that awesome? I see death as an awesome thing, so exciting. It's the only thing that awaits us. When STeve Jobs passed away his last words were "Oh wow oh wow oh wow". Now I wanna see that shit too! Fuct this place. These systems are broken, this world is a competition which sucks, we're always at war for some Dumbass reason we never truly get along or work together. We should have a universal understanding between humans before we all die or watch the world collapse anyways. We're always taking more and more from this planet. I kinda want to just stick around to see what destruction we can hail, like the depleting Ozone or watch countries fall apart. I don't wish for bad things to happen to people just all this "happiness that we pretend to have on this earth doesn't seem real to me. Being bipolar I'm never truly happy like other people seem to be or pretend to be. especially being on prescription drugs.. All I see how I must struggle and work my whole life for nothing. Whatever good things you guys find from this place is cool and all but my life is just dull.. Now why must I stay here on this planet to .. play this game, to work my whole life and never have anything :/

    Huh hrmm humm
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 1, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: How D o You View The World??? :|

    i stay for others i cling to life because i cannot harm others bring them pain that i am in i just cant
     
  3. BigTomTooToo

    BigTomTooToo Well-Known Member

    Re: How D o You View The World??? :|

    Now I'm not suicidal (again) . V good point..
     
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