I don't know how much longer i can hold on. it's like every day is worse. I have had 3 girlfriends. 2 have cheated on me, and 1 has pretended to love me, then just left me. People at school call me emo. My parents are lazy, drunk, and careless. I was raped when I was 10 years old by a babysitter. she is in jail. still, the scars in life are hard to overcome. when i was only 13, i attempted suicide, but survived. I am dating a girl named anna. are relationship is dying, and she says that she thinks i am just a emotional freak. I don't know why im still with her. I have done alchohal and drugs when i was 15 and quitted when i was 16, though, i have to take pills so i continue to stay drug free. I have been lucky not going to jail for that, but i think people just want to make things worse for me. about a month ago, my 10 year old brother found a gun under my bed. he threw it away, so there went that chance. I have had 3 friends die. Depression is attacking me. I try to cheer myself up, but then something bad has to happen. I have been having suicide thoughts run threw my head. im on the edge of attempting again. therapy doesn't help. it seems theres no hope.