on the edge

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hey everyone, i feel kind of dumb for putting this stuff on the internet, but i feel like i really gotta get it off my chest and get some advice. for about the past 6 months, everyday has seemed to get worse. I used to work at my dads steel factory, which i hated and had been doing for about 3 years. i worked a lot and never seemed to do anything for myself. many of my friends have become drug adicts, and are still in the same state of mind as they were in highschool. my friends that dont do drugs have moved away in different directions. because they all moved, we have grown apart. i am now in college struggling with grades. i have tried to meet new people, but every time i start to get close to someone, it seems i end up pushing them away. no matter what i do, i cant get close to anyone. its not that i hate people, i am a very caring person towards my family and friends. but all i feel for myself is hatred, guilt, and depression. i have lost total interest in everything i used to enjoy. i used to work out constantly to relieve the stress but now that doesnt even work. any suggestions of what i should do, i would love to hear it.

thanks
 
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