Hi guys. I'm bad at introducing myself, so i'll just post my story here. I'm in my early twenties, and i was abused and ignored throughout high school. I'm depressed because i go to college that i have no interest in, and i'm surrounded by the people i hate. Everyone says that life begins after high school. Not for me, as i go to college with just the same people from high school days. They will always see me like a weirdo and lowlife. Now, this seems like a minor thing, and i know that there are far worse things than that, but imagine this. Everyone ignores you for years, looking at you like a piece of shit. When you talk, it's like you are talking to a wall. And your family ignores your cries, telling you, what's good for you, your whole life. I grew up to be social anxious, depressed, and in competed man that studies business school. The irony is, i hate money, and i hate the office/banks surroundings. My mom didn't let me to re qualify, after high school, and move on with my life. I wanted to change, and start with a blank sheet of paper, and that was denied to me. I was never a slacker type of guy. My depression is so bad, things that used to make me happy, now don't. Nothing amuses me anymore. I go to sleep with fear, and i wake up with sweat every day. I feel nauxius, and suffer from extreme headaches and dizzines. I can't even walk straight. I don't even have the strength to speak. I am going to be frank with you. If i wasn't such a coward, i'd end my life already. I told my mom i can't do this anymore, that i feel bad, and i'm going to end my life. She has "just walk it out, everything is going to be better" attitude every time i speak to her. I feel so frustrated and miserable. I just want to blow my fucking brains out, to teach her a lesson... and get free from my torment. I bet everyone would get my words carved up forever in their minds. It's not like i didn't speak what's bugging me for all these years. I just wanted a new chance. I think everyone deserves it. I didn't do anything wrong to begin with, but i feel like i killed someone. Even most of the ex convicts get a new chance, to do something with their life. I was denied that, and it really, really hurts. I'm falling apart every day, and it hurts to know i can't do a damn thing to change that and become a better person. I don't even feel like a human being anymore. I don't remember the last time i felt safe and like myself. This is no way of living, i'd rather die than keep on like this.