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on the edge

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by forever_scarred, Mar 22, 2010.

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  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    Somedays life seems so unbearable that all i wish to do is put a gun to my head and destroy everything and kill the broken spirit inside of me...nothing exists anymore only pain, angony, betrayal, anger, and deep dark thoughts of suicide...i kno when i end my life everything would be better, one less person breathing the air, one less person to look after, one less useless bitch in this place....nothing matters anymore...i dont acre anymore--o if only that were true...everything hurts...memories of mom 3 years later, missing people around me, missing the pets that gave me confort when i felt so alone, my boyfriend who i loved so much and was dumped not for personality or beauty but for the demons i held inside...i was not alone in those demons scott and i shared a lot of the same demons....my best friend has once again left and for good this time...i wanted to tell her i needed her, for her to understand as she has done before but not i hide behind the mask as i do any other person i meet...im so sick of hiding who i really am, terribly afraid of the rejection, the disappointment, the betrayal....death is the only option to make things better...i hurt so bad that i wont let things out, i talk but it does no good...the hatred i hold on myself, on god, on my so called friends, on mom....she made me this way...i think of death everyday, every second of everyday...perhaps that is wrong or twisted but its who i am and nothing can change that
  2. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    hello Anathema,

    i have no words that can make that kind of pain more bearable, but i do hear you and would be happy to listen if you wish to talk more.
  3. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I've felt like that many times so I totally understand. I've contemplated my death so many times, its ridiculous. But guess what, I'm still here fighting and taking ONE day at a time.

    If you wish to talk more, send me a PM. Death is NOT the answer.
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