on the edge...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by nickyc, Oct 6, 2011.

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  1. nickyc

    nickyc Member

    Random thought I feel the need to share, so bear with me.is this forum good for me.on the one hand, I want to say yes.I wont insult you and say we are like minded, because I can guarantee you have me beat.but knowing that there are people who understand where you are and have been there themselves is somehow comforting.
    On the other hand, the longer I stay, the more I realize how hopeless it can get.I am only human and have my limits.I am well past that line and broken inside.the end seems like more of a blessing than life.there's safety in knowing that it can be over and the pain will end.or run the risk of being this way forever.
    Am I alone in these thoughts?
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    You aren't alone in these thoughts. :hug:
     
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey Nick - I guess everyone here has been through that process - and its a thought shared by hundreds of millions at times.

    But we all have our own unique life with its very unique dynamics - sometimes we use that shut us off from others - we don't want people to know our problems as we imagine nobody could understand.

    But - with depression your view of others becomes very cynical - you see the worse in people - and the world - but mostly yourself. After all if you get to the point you think you want to die - that shapes how you see things. We all see what we want to see at times - we get stuck in the train of thought of suicide and get down and cut ourselves off till all we have is us alone in our thoughts - some even with the missus next to then - or the kids!!

    So keeping that secret just makes you worse - as you got no feedback - nobody to even tell you that things can get better. We don't make good cheerleaders for ourselves and usually need others to even point out our talents.

    But we make good hanging judges for ourselves if left to our own thoughts - we can always spin a positive into a negative and you can get to the point whereby things that gave you a feeling of fulfilment now just make you bored.

    But life throws up good things for us - opportunities do present themselves and sometimes we just have to go through routines until we get back into the swing of things.

    You could kill yourself tonight and maybe miss out on big romance come December. You might discover talents or dust off ones you hid away because depression has a habit of making you less creative IF you let it. I think most of us have a choice at times - maybe a social event you don't want to go to - but maybe you should.

    A new job - some interest that spirals into something. My tattooist was into art - bored with her job - so is now fully booked and earns a few hundred a day basically doing something she loves! In her late 30s she announced to a understanding hubby - she wanted to be a tattooist.

    I don't know what your talents are - but everyone has something - all are gifted with some talent that only needs the right niche. You might make a great father - become a community leader - an honest one - or become the sort of man who you'd be proud to be.

    Its worth holding on because happiness - elusive though it might seem is not that complicated an affair. I know happy people - people who generally whistle a lot. Me - now and again - but I greet everyone and leave everyone with a nice word always.

    99.9% leave me with a nice word. You always got that 1% factor no matter how nice you were - but you don't have launch into a nuclear barrage of insults - just respond by saying nothing and that way you end up knowing lots of people who have a nice word or a humorous insult as its good to tell friends whatever - you know - good old personal insults.

    Regards.
     
  4. Slothbear

    Slothbear Well-Known Member

    To tell you the truth this forum is both good and bad. It's good... great that people can come and connect and finally feel like they're not alone about such strong feelings. However on another note this forum can act as a trigger and often make things worse. It really depends.
     
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