On the ground when I should be in the sky

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Forgotten_Man, May 6, 2007.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hey all, sorry I have not been on very much I have been trying to graduate college these past months.

    Anyway I just graduated yesterday. And to be honest I just want to quit. Just quit at everything and be a drone. In the past months I have gotten a job graduated and found my own place to live. But for some reason I just feel like quitting everything and curling up and dying. I do not know why it happened. But I cannot shake this feeling that life is not worth living. I just want to sleep forever.

    I don't know, any suggestions on why I am buried in the ground when I should be flying high in the sky?
     
  2. Dawn Of Mia

    Dawn Of Mia Member

    You've achieved alot! Time to set another goal, another target. And since you've put all that behind you the rest is really just up to you man.

    Think about what you want next. Many times I've thought about just turning around or stopping dead in my tracks.

    But determination will get you far, and if you have no goal its just wasted on determing on how you wasted your time. Which isn't the case, but it can press against you.

    Congrats on all you've done, but strive onward my man!
     
  3. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    wow you sound so much like myself right now. everything that can go right in my life right now is but from time to time i find myself crashing and for no apparent reason. that my friend is what depression does. to get myself through these times they happen i continuously try to put all that to the side and focus only on what i need to atm. it helps alot but it does take alot of hard work. are you seeing anyone or on any meds right now by chance? please take care
     
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Dawn Of Mia: The problem is I have nothing left that I want to accomplish, well really badly anyway. Really I have accomplished all I have ever wanted too.... as sad and pathetic as that is.

    @Insignificant: No I am not seeing anyone and never will nor will I ever take meds. I am something that is far to broken to fix. Plus I lack the motivation to do anything. Everything feels forced, even stuff I enjoy doing. I just want to die that is all I feel right now.
     
  5. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    I also just got graduated and I was so angry that day. don't know why... I was nerovus, but not for my graduation... I do not have any goal now, wish I could sleep all the day... PM if you want/need :wink:
     
  6. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I was mad sad and everything but happy... I do not know why. You would think I would be happy... but I am not I just want to quit and die.
     
  7. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    As much as anything, graduation is a huge transition in life... from the supposed care-free life of youth, being a student and all that that life is meant to entail to being a grown up, with grown up responsibilities (as you mention, getting a job, place to live, bills etc). It's not surprising that you feel a bit flat and that is without the poison of a depressive illness, which sucks all joy out of things. Trust me, you are not as unusual or as far gone as you imagine.
     
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    True I just thought I would feel a little better that is all.
     
  9. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, moments like these sometimes do not live up to the hype. Graduation can be anticlimactic. You think it's going to be so liberating and it ends up just being another day, albeit a proud one. But the good news is that you have so much left to do and accomplish! It's scary getting out there and being a real adult, but the independence you will gain from paying your own way, having a real job and making a contribution to this crazy world will be soooooooo worth it and will raise your self-esteem ten-fold. Hang in there and be proud. The accomplishment of making your own way and not being beholden to anyone for anything will give you a great feeling :)
     
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Again I have something left to accomplish? There is nothing left for me but to just drone through life. I already have the job I am but a slow move away from having my own place. What is there left to do other than die?
     
  11. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Live your life. Make it the life you want. Create a great life for yourself on your own terms. Life really can be a wonderful thing. I hope you feel better...
     
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    But the only part of life i REALLY want is death.
     
  13. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Well, that part is inevitable, so at least try to do what you can while you can. Death will always be waiting. Might as well live it up now.
     
  14. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    There is nothing to live up too. Nothing interests me.
     
  15. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Can't you think of one thing you want, out of life, I mean. Family, friends, to travel and see the world? Are you on any kind of medication? What is it that makes you feel so hopeless?
     
  16. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hmm like I said I want to die. Other than that? Hmmm well I guess I do want to make someone fall in love with me then once I have their heart I toss it on the ground and stomp on it.... but that would require FAR too much change in me. I would have to change my appearance my attitude everything.

    What makes me hopeless? Knowing myself, knowing that I suck so much at existing that nothing will ever change and I will always be angry at something or wanting to die. I do not think I can take another 50 to 60 years of this crap.

    Sorry I have not been on much I am moving into a new place and lack the internet.
     
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