On the outside looking in on reality?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ike, Jul 28, 2011.

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  1. Ike

    Ike New Member

    I am feeling increasingly desperate about having to attend a medical examination by Atos who are systematically removing people from incapacity benefit on the orders of the government. I have been on Incapacity benefit for about 7 years with anxiety and depression although I have suffered mental health problem for nearly 40 years. I am a reformed alcoholic, I became an alcoholic after pleading with my doctor for help with my problems around 25 years ago I was merely told to "pull myself together" I was devastated and alone, In my desperation I started drinking heavily to control the crippling anxiety, using alcohol to self medicate, but of course the drinking escalated over the years until I could no longer cope and sought help from the Samaritans as I could not get the thought out of my mind that I should kill myself. I received a year of counselling to come off the alcohol but the debilitating anxiety remains. I will never go back to the drink i would rather kill myself first than live in that hell again but its the only way I know of to cope with the fear of this impending sham medical examination and the aftermath when I am unable to cope. I have just adapted my life to avoiding situations for the last 7 years, I live a solitary existence and can not cope with stress at all. I feel ending this misery would be a release from the torment. Why are the government persecuting people like this? Is their intention to make life so intolerable for us that this becomes our only choice?
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hey Ike,

    Welcome to SF! Not the ideal place to find yourself in, but I hope you find this place helpful.

    As for coping skills, maybe you can learn some other ones or experiment with others that do not involve drinking excessively.

    Have you tried any type of therapy or medication before? I hope it's financially feasible for you to get help that way if you haven't gone that route before.

    Lastly, I wish you the best of luck with your Itos examination.


  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    reality sometimes sucks i get that i do but just know we care here okay you can continue to reach out here for support I do wish you the best on your exams hun let us know how it goes okay
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