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On the path to a place I don't want to go.... No one to talk to on the way

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by randomguy9, May 25, 2012.

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  1. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    Well I think I have done it...

    I have broken the connections with the few people in the world who I used to be able to talk to.

    One family member and I got into a shouting match... she is a fucking dr how c ans she possibly know what it is like to be acomplete dumbass that can''t do anything right like me... Both her children are gifted, proving her genetic gifting... and that was 95% of it.

    The other can only keep telling me to come back to her religion... the religion that some of the most evil people I have ever met follow...

    I don't have this in meanymore...

    I love them both but when I try to talk nothing productive comes out of it.... I dont know.

    two things my 22 years on this plannet have proven... 1. Women HATE me when it comes to romance... no girl appears worthwhile has ever liked me. 2
    2. Freindships of mine don't last. Sometimes it is me, sometimes them betraying me, and sometimes just life pulling me away... but I can't deal with it anymore. 3. "attitudde" is a resullt of results... and my negative attitude is the reuslt of faioing at every fucking big picture thing I have aver attempted... save one exception but that needs and * by it anyway.

    I could live alone if I had money... enough to distract myself from the lonlyness... I have been here sense the reincarnation of hitler made it his life goal to turn the whole school agaisnt me back in grade school.... and suceeded for the most part. Ever senes any friend I have found has left me... save those here on sf, but without any face to face contact it does feel the same...

    I don't know how to cope when the future is so clear... lonlyness as i watch other people get married and have kids, and go to social gatherings... while I am exiled from everything but watching their joy as it makes me miserable with envy...

    Other than that... homelessness becasue I made the mistake of not getting a job at 16 that would have given me a fighting chance in his wreck of an economy... No I am not young, I was supsoed to be saving for retirement at age 18... If not then then lets see... carry the one... oh yea 4 years later... at 22... and I will be 23 in a month... I don't want to see that... beeing a 22 year old who spent 3.5 years in college and failed is bad enough... 23 is to much.

    I have no one in my real life to talk to who understands... either they are the top 5 percent genetic wise with brains or are so heavenly focused that their earthly views are useless...

    I can't disreguard the facts that say my life won't get better... and I can't cope alone....
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I have no real words of wisdom this evening, but wanted to say that you are welcome and cared for here...yes, it is not a face to face interaction, but it can be a genuine interaction just the same...it is not the brains one gets but what one does with them...in this economy, there are jobs that are very necessary, and many require training not a college degree...have you seen a vocational counselor who might help you sort that out? Maybe that is a place to start
  3. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    I understand your difficulty is related to both the economy and the fact that you are homeless. I can imagine what its like to see others prosper and then find that no matter what u do your a reject becuase its what I dealt with. I was 17 and got told that I would not be aloud to graduate I proved it was possible but eveveryone siad I wouldnt make it but I did they still treated me like a ghost.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    don't let them beat you random...
    let this make you more determined to prove you can do what you need to turn your life around
    i know its not easy but you're young enough to make it work
  5. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity

    I am not homeless... yet but that is the path I am on... there is no way I can turn things around.

    The thing is I can't... I don't have the resources or genetifcs to make myself sucessfull and what little i do have is uesless unless someone gives me a job... and with this economy meaning there are lower risk employees than me... im fucked.

    Even if hte economy recovers inni 5 years I will then be the idoit 28 year old dropout with no job expiereience... I can't deal with that..
  6. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    In this day and age, anyone can make a difference, stray from the norm to achieve power. It was only one iceberg that sunk the titanic. Many business men came from down points to become rich and famous. And if you do need someone to talk to just message me, I'm usually herez
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