On the verge of losing everything

#1
I went through a divorce 2 years ago. My ex had an affair and filed for divorce because she decided she deserved better. She filed pro se, where she gets everything and I get nothing. I had to protect myself, so I hired an attorney.

She makes twice my salary, and so we mediated the terms of the divorce, including 50/50 custody and an alimony buyout. I took the bulk of the buyout and bought a foreclosed house because it's an expensive area to live in NJ, and I needed something in the school district and enough bedrooms for me and my kids.

I had a budget in place for what it would cost to renovate the house, and what I would need to get the girls and my son in. I had a razor thin budget, but I could make it work. She refused to pay me the remaining $6,875 of the alimony buyout, with her argument being I agreed to pay 1/3 of our son's $12,000 student loan. The divorce agreement specially stated that the kids savings or trusts must first be used to defray costs. My grandmother left him $8,000 in a Vanguard account that was supposed to be used for this. She used that money for car repairs instead.

Within a week of her not paying me the money she owed me, she filed with the courts for child support because the kids are with her until my house was done. She in essence, refused to pay me what she owed me, preventing me from getting what I needed to get the kids in, and then started having my wages garnished in the amount of $1,100 a month.

I filed 2 motions with the court for help with this, with her being in contempt, but they keep rejecting me with "denied without prejudice". She also just happens to work for the courts for the state of NJ.

And so, 10 months later, I'm out $14,000 in child support, haven't seen my kids, am $4,400 behind on my bills, have $2.73 in my account, having my electric shut off, my credit went from 725 to 510, so thats destroyed, I'm losing the house, and can only eat once a day because I have to ration the food.

In the last year, she's been to Jamaica, the Bahamas, California, a week at the shore, overnight trips to NY, weekend trips to Atlantic City, and bought an SUV as a secondary vehicle back in November because her $50,000 Dodge Challenger doesn't handle well in the snow.

And so I sit, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally destroyed, on the verge of losing everything, haven't seen my kids or feel like I'm apart of their lives.

I think of <mod edit - method> alot, because I'm not sure what to fight for anymore. Everything I cared about is gone, and it only gets worse and worse each day. Not sure if anyone can relate to not knowing if the power will be on when you get home from work, or having no food. I work 7 days a week, and I still Can't survive.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

gypsylee

SF Supporter
#3
Sorry about that, had no idea, was just explaining where I'm at.

Won't happen again
Hey @MAS72

Don't take the moderation personally -- they have good reasons for the method rule and it's pretty strictly enforced.

I thought about your situation today when I was going about my business. I wish I had some advice or something, but it just makes me angry. Not even so much at your ex (though she sounds like a real bitch), just this system where every single f***ing thing has a dollar sign on it. I get stressed and frustrated by it myself and my situation is luxury compared to yours :confused:

I'm not religious but I have some spiritual beliefs and this is one thing I "pray" about because I really don't know what else the hell to do. When I was making pretty good money I gave a decent amount to charities. I signed a million petitions. I even rented my spare room to a guy I knew for $50/week because he was living in his car and I felt horrible.

I just don't know. At the end of the day I'm glad my 17yo daughter will have a pretty good financial head-start in life (thanks to my family which is very small, but pretty comfortable).

I really hope something good comes your way o_O

Gypsy x

 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#4
Hi there
I'm really sorry to hear of your situation. Im not sure what you can do about that either. Seems child support is really taking a toll so maybe you can get a review on that but otherwise I've got not much.
I do know that these kids need their dad - broke or not. They don't care whether you've got the money, they need family, man. Trust me. Also, if you kill yourself those kids become more likely to do it once day so don't leave that legacy for them. That's shitty.
 

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