Once Again...Another Thought...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brknsilence, Aug 21, 2015.

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  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Yeah.... :( thoughts and feelings again. :( I'm making more mistakes...I'm so exhausted.... just want sleep... :(
     
  2. Joshmorey1

    Joshmorey1 Member

    Think of your loved ones. Despite what you may feel someone loves you very much and it would break them to suffer the pain of what you consider doing. In these dark times reach out and talk to someone, anyone! Good luck.
     
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    So sorry.... I got some sleep. I'm still feeling awful and the thoughts are still there.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    hiyas! Talk about what these awful thoughts are hun, it might help to get it out there! I am glad you got some sleep, we're here for you and we care :)
     
  5. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Just been thinking I'm messing everything up. Just wondering if life is really worth living. Just tired of being the failure to everything around me. :'(
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: while you are alive there is hope, it's as simple as that. Get up and say ''i'm going to do this. You're a lovely person, don't ever forget that. Keep working on yourself and you will start to feel better :)
     
  7. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I can't stop crying
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are fine hun there's nothing wrong with crying. It actually might help a bit to get it all out :hugs:
     
  9. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm still not thinking right. I'm exhausted. I think I have no purpose anymore. My dreams, my wishes, my desires keeps getting shut down. I have no meaning. No reason to be here
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Can you give a example of things getting shut down? Talk about it.
     
  11. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Things I been wanting to do in life. Just keep getting discouraged from others, mainly family members. Just doesn't matter anymore
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    What things are you trying to do? Don't be afraid to speak your mind here, we can talk about it here in a safe environment. Of course it matters, you matter!! :hugs:
     
  13. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    When I was a kid growing up, I always wanted to do gymnastics - didn't work. My mom told me my legs were to long.

    As a job, I wanted to be a fight attendant - that didn't go through because I didn't know where to go to school for that.

    Later, I went to school for physical education - that didn't last long and switched to American Sign Language Interpreting. I almost finished but one last class but can't seem to finish.

    I thought about been an Emergency Medical Technician - but a family member didn't believe that I had what it takes to do the job.

    I thought about being a therapist but that is getting torn down too...

    Maybe I'm just here to just please everyone and do as they say. My like is pointless. I'm not allowed to have what I want.
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    You could still be a flight attendant or EMT if you wanted. I'm 26 and in 2 weeks I will be doing an access course for fire and ambulance, I can get a degree course after that one which I will be doing. They do flight attendant courses in a lot of place nowadays. They even do it in my small city so keep searching and believe in yourself. I think it is harder to be a therapist as you need a lot of training for that. BUT YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN SUCCEED. Keep trying :hugs:

    Your life is not pointless, you are a great person and you are smart it's the confidence and self esteem you are short of.

    big hugs :hugs: :hugs:
     
  15. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Thank you for everything. I'm still extremely down. Just can't wait for this evening to take benadryl to just sleep. I'm exhausted. My husband won't be home until later. I'm just tired. Hopefully I can sleep this off. I don't know anymore.
     
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hopefully it is something you can sleep off, I certainly hope so :) We do not have Benadryl here but to the best of my knowledge it's an anti histamine, my doctor recommends them for anxiety so maybe it will help you. Try and sleep it off hun! You know you are worth more than taking your life for. :hugs:
     
  17. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    My dr okay'ed it for sleep. I also notices it calms me down, too. I just can't drive after I take it. The crying has made me sleepy.
     
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That is good that you got the doctor to OK it :) Hopefully it will help you :) Maybe even take in now if it calms you down too? Crying makes me sleepy too, thank goodness I don't cry a lot!
     
  19. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I got to cook soon. Not sure what I'm making for dinner. I just don't want to do anything.
     
  20. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Food is essential as you know lol so maybe eat something light like toast or bananas. I get that you don't want to do anything but to get out of the rut, you must keep and keep trying until perfection. You are a beautiful person and deserve only the best :)
     
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