Once Again Thinking Of Suicide But Been Delayed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by White Dove, Aug 5, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Once again, i find myself planning my demise...

    Seems everytime i try i get detered along the way somehow...

    got detered today.. brothers wife had car trouble so i had to go get her cause she was stranded.. then the kids wanted to go to church tonight which i did take them... so my plans were stopped again, but its for the final time i think..

    can you believe this?/?

    the ministers wife comes up to me after services and says , i spoke with mr dalton and he says everythings a okay and if you want to talk with him just give it to her and she will give it to him...

    WHAT A BUNCH OF BULL THAT IS...

    WHAT DO THEY THINK I AM , A PLAY THING OR SOMETHING??

    I AM NOT GOING TO GO THROUGH A THIRD PARTY.. IT IS BETWEEN ME AND HIM AND HIS WIFE ONLY... CAN THEY NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I CANT TRUST ANYONE , ESPECIALLY A PREACHERS WIFE ANYMORE...? HOW AM I TO KNOW SHE REALLY TALKED WITH HIM? HOW AM I TO KNOW HE REALLY SAYS ITS OKAY, ETC? I CANT TRUST ANYONE AND I CANT BELIEVE IT TO BE TRUTH BECAUSE OF THE MANY TIMES MY TRUST IN OTHERS HAVE BEEN HURT.. NATURALLY SHE WOULD SAY THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD AND NOT TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE.. BUT ITS NOT GONNA WORK... I AM NOT THAT STUPID...

    YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE MR DALTON.. YOU GOT MY PHONE NUMBER, YOU GOT MY ADDRESS.. YOU CAN CONTACT ME , NOT FROM SOME THIRD PARTY.. THIS IS BETWEEN US ME AND YOU AND YOUR WIFE ONLY...

    I AM DELAYING IT ONE WEEK... AND ONE MORE WEEK ONLY...you read here.. you and your wife read here.. tell me... BY ANY CHANCE , YOU GONNA BE AT THE FAIR BOOTH? ( YES THE CHURCH OF CHRIST FAIR BOOTH IN COOKEVILLE AT THE FAIR) ? YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT... YOU BOTH DO, CARE TO TALK THEN??? ARE YOU WILLING TO TALK TO ME THEN??? ARE YOU? I WILL BE THERE THIS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT.. BOTH NIGHTS AT 7 PM.. I GIVE YOU THIS LAST CHANCE.... see im going camping.. i will be by myself hopfully, no one can interfer with my plans the following sunday.. you got a chance.. YOU BOTH GOT A CHANCE TO TALK WITH ME... YOU WANNA HELP PUT MY MIND AT EASE , THEN YOU BE THERE.. ITS A LONG WAY FOR ME TO DRIVE BUT NOT FOR YOU.. SO YOU GONNA BE THERE...???? YOU WANNA TALK??? I WILL BE IN THE BLEACHERS AT THE END BY THE PITTS...

    YOU GOT THIS LAST CHANCE... THATS ALL IM GIVING YOU.. THATS IT... DELAYED BECAUSE OF WHAT I HEARD TODAY.. RATHER IT IS TRUE OR NOT I DONT KNOW , BUT IF IT IS THEN YOU CAN CONTACT ME , EITHER BY PHONE, BY SEEING ME IN PERSON AT THE FAIR.. ITS YOUR CHANCE.. ITS YOUR CHOICE...

    EITHER YOU DO OR NOT , ITS UP TO YOU... IF YOU DONT , IM GONE.. YOU WANNA CALL IT AN ULTIMATIUM , I DONT CARE.. MAYBE IT IS.... IM TIRED OF THE RUN AROUND.. IM TIRED OF THE SO CALLED THIRD PARTIES , ETC.. THIS IS BETWEEN US NO ONE ELSE... IT HAS TO BE DELT BETWEEN US, YOU KNOW THAT AND GOD KNOWS THAT...

    IT IS DELAYED..

    YOU GOT THE CHOICE..

    MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS NOW...

    YOU WANNA TALK FOR REAL OR DO I END IT..?

    YOU BOTH GOT 1 WEEK...
     
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