Thinking of ending things again. Can't seem to let myself be happy about the good things in my life and spend too much time and energy focusing on the few small bad things. Work is overwhelming right now, with meetings and 100s of emails to respond to. My management just gave me a good bonus and have been helping me learn and grow, but I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I have to go to work in 30 minutes and I'm sitting here crying like a baby and I just don't want to do it anymore. And more than that I feel down on myself for even thinking of walking away from everything. My job isn't horrible, it's my thinking. I don't feel confident or capable, even though I have no evidence to support that. I can do my job, I just feel like I'm never good enough.
Took my dogs for a walk and got very angry at myself and took it out on them. Then yelling at them doesn't make me feel better, just makes them feel scared of me. Makes me scared of me.
Cancelled my therapy sessions and told Doc that I'm too broken to save.
I really hate myself right now. Good enough at everything, but still think I'm shit and unworthy of the good things.
Took my dogs for a walk and got very angry at myself and took it out on them. Then yelling at them doesn't make me feel better, just makes them feel scared of me. Makes me scared of me.
Cancelled my therapy sessions and told Doc that I'm too broken to save.
I really hate myself right now. Good enough at everything, but still think I'm shit and unworthy of the good things.