Once again I find myself sitting on the bottom. Things have been slowly tumbling down around me, and as I struggle to hold my head up high it seems others want me to fail. I dont want to give into the temptation I seem to be surrounded with, yet the battle to fight is becoming harder with every passing moment. I constantly am changing my behavior as maybe my behavior is the problem, but when no changes are coming about I have to ask myself is all the effort truly worth it. I know the typical answer as I have given it many times myself to others here. Why when we seem to need to take our own advice that we give, its the hardest time to do so. I dont see any other way out, I am looking and will continue to look for a different way, until there are no more sunrises in my life. Until that time I sit here in agony, carrying my burdens because I am unwilling to allow anyone else suffer on my behalf.