I have attempted suicide 8 times in 9 1/2 years. But yet I don't feel that those 8 times were not enough. I just recently split from my husband, while I was in a mental health center, and when he left I knew he didn't have intent of coming back, but yet I didn't want to be alone, is this wrong of me to think these thoughts. I found out that he raped his 7 year old cousin and was charged with rape sodmoy and sexual abuse in the first degree. I still feel like I should punish him by letting him rot in jail, and yet I want to be dead because it hurts me more than its hurting him, So to many attempts is still not enough. Now I live with my mom again and its back to being depressed and feeling even more suicidial, for i have no meds she want buy them for me and she is not being very supportive like she told my social worker she was going to be. What should I do?