I don't know why, but my new-ish therapist is going one appointment at a time rather than scheduling several appointments all at once. Was it something in my mannerism or nothing to do with me at all? Anyways, I can't say much still. But did sag a little about my chronic pain problem. Enough that that is the focus at the moment. I'm doubtful anything can be done about it. Maybe it's been too long or maybe I'm too used to pain at this point. What I really don't want to say is that when the pain is at it's worst is when I most wish I could end it all. And if asked why I didn't, the answer would have to be that because when the pain is at it's worst, I am effectively paralyzed so can't do anything. How could I say that and have my therapist not 'freak out'? That's an extreme example, but still an example of something I can't quite share. In person, that is. I'm fine online or otherwise. Next appointment is in a few days. I'll be asked how the pain was and have to say that it increased from the severity I gave it as at the last appointment. Or either fib or say nothing at all.