One day ill get it right

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Lucky13, Dec 6, 2008.

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  1. Lucky13

    Lucky13 New Member

    Hey there everyone I have just joined this forum and have my story to share.

    I have been clinically depressed for many years but only recently have I tried (unsuccessfully) to kill myself. The first time was with <mod edit-methods>I found out that it has <methods> in it so I went out and got a handful, booked myself a hotel room and mixed it up and drank it. Well nothing happened except I just slept for a while which I think was only cause I was so worn out from being very very sad.

    The next time I went to my doctor and got him to give me sleeping pills which he did and I went home <methods> I was suppose to pick up my girlfreind from work but when I didnt show she got a ride home to find me in bed naked and unconscious.

    She called the ambulance and I was taken to a mental hospital where I stayed for a few weeks. Now the strange thing is I dont remember a thing about how I got from the other room I was in to the bathroom to spew and then to my room to undress and get into bed.

    After I was released from the hospital I tried again to do it by getting a <methods>myself but after I fell unconscious I fell (sitting down) and hit my head on the <methods>which split my head open and <methods>. That was what saved my life but I was so disappointed I have yet to try again.

    I now see a psychiatrist every monday cause I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and anti personality disorder which is enough for anyone to take on a day to day basis.:mad:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 6, 2008
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you have had such a rough time. Your dx, while not pleasant to deal with, can be managed. I am glad you are getting help.
     
  3. Lucky13

    Lucky13 New Member

    Thanks :) But after all this happened I just feel like a zombie like everything I do is a bad routine.
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I can understand how you could feel that way, but give it some time. The human mind is much more resiliant than you can imagine. What you do has no similarities to routine. You have the power to turn things around, but the choice belongs to no one but you.
     
  5. Lucky13

    Lucky13 New Member

    Oops sorry I just realized I was not suppose to put methods in my post :(
     
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