One hot summer day, I lost her. She is pulling me towards death.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ashtar, Dec 12, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ashtar

    ashtar Well-Known Member

    I dont want to go too much into the story. But, when I was 16 I met the love of my life. She was the most beautiful and amazing person in the world. She understood me and protected me from my family. She was what we all need. A saviour. An angel. One day things got too much for both of us. We went to the police and asked them for help and they said they wont do anything unless we have prove that we are being abused by certain people.
    Me and her met at a pond in a hidden place.
    We both took the same ammount of pills.
    She died.
    I survived.
    And now, the pain I felt back then has increased.
    I cannot take it anymore.
    I'm 20 now and have been living without her far too long.
    She needs me.
    My beautiful angel by the pond...
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Believe me I know how you feel, I cannot offer words of comfort because I doubt there are any-at least none that I have heard, just I am sorry, so sorry for what happened, please keep fighting, you survived so please do not waste that chance.

    Take Care

  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry ashtar..:console::arms:
  4. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    Hi ashtar

    I am so sorry you feel this way it must be very hard to cope with. Some people say we leave this world when we have done evrything we were put here for. I am not religious at all and don't know if you are but perhaps it was her time to go as her job was finished and maybe you survuved for a reason as ther are still things you must do. Maybe you could try to think of what those things could be? Your friend clearly loved you a lot and would only ever want you to be happy so you could see it as trying to make her happy and honour her by trying to make yourself happy and have a good life.

    It is not your fault, everyone feels guilt about something or makes mistakes but you can change those feelings by living and finding things or people who will make you happy and enjoy life. Your friend would be so proud of you I am sure if you can get through this and maybe one day you will be able to help someone else who has suffered abuse. The police are not neccessarily the bst people but there are people who can help you get through this and maybe one day it will be you helping someone else as you would ubderstand what they went through.

    Perhaps that is one of the reasons you survived, to get well and strong and save the lives of others? Just an idea. Big hug.X
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.