Most of my time recently has been spent trying to vent in the journal, I was told it would help me let out emotional anxieties and other stress causing stuff. Well it didnt, in fact, I am more stressed out than ever before. My life has come down to simply, stressing out about practicing and work on my design/art abilities to make a working portfolio. I have 2 weeks before my last semester at my current college and I try to move on to a four year college. But if I dont have a working portfolio, I have little to no chance to getting into a good art college, then I have no chance of getting a job/career as a graphic designer. I cant take time off. I hate my job, my life, my body, myself. If I cant achieve my dream, then I will kill myself.