One little thing leads to disaster

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Blech, Jan 28, 2012.

  1. Blech

    Blech New Member

    One little thing happened today. I take the car to the local market an someone in a SUV takes the parking space. Why does that make me think that all of humanity deserves to die? Or is it the fact I cant dream of eating anything now. The only "food" that seems appropriate is 2 double cheeseburgers from MCdonalds so I can punish myself for feeling so hateful. I so desperately want to be functional in society. We cannot survive. What a tragedy to bring a child into this world. What a tragedy to give up on dreams. What makes me sad is that my dreams of fulfilment are slipping away. and is it really worth it? Don't take away my pain it is my protector. Friends do not understand. or they are unaware. I cannot keep putting myself out there only to face failure and rejection again and again. That the real people in this world reject me make me sad. I do not belong here. I do not belong under anyones thumb. I will move out to the woods and simply freeze to death. To excuse myself to the outskirts where people go to be unnoticed. I will go there not because i want to be unnoticed but because I want to be noticed but never am. I prefer to go somewhere where there is nobody to notice, so I will not feel like an outcast. In a society of outreach and support I do not fit into anyones model. I have no value in this society. I am as easily overlooked as a penny that is discarded on the sidewalk. As easily ignored as a prisoner, a waste of space, a know-nothing know-it-all. And yet I have no faith. No devotion and no belief in humankind to do good in this world. We came, we saw we could not conquer nature. Now something ought to put us away before we do more harm..
  2. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    I love your is perfect.

    Except for one thing.

    You have nailed it when you describe society being ill, but you don't see that you allow society to judge your value. That part of society has "infected" your mind and the part of your witnessing that is about self-loathing IS voice of society imprinted in your mind.

    It's an arrogant idea in society that we have to create value to justify our existence. No one every realizes that "nature" created you because you're wanted. Nature is abundant that way...everything is wanted.

    What meaning does my dog's life have? But I love my authentic, so at peace with life, so unconditional in her love for anyone that loves her (that's not a condition, there's not judgment in my dog). I have come to see the same truth in humans, but our minds are so polluted with false ideas about life that inspite of summing up the ills of society perfectly as you did, the presence of society in our minds is elusive...we don't see that so easily and that leads to these suicidal thoughts.

    Let me know if you want to learn more, ok?

  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I agree.. Too much of society doesn't have much understanding.. compassion.. and can be completely blind.. And I wish it weren't so as well.. I am also tired of feeling invisible.. But saying this there are others out there who feel the same.. and who also understand.. and we have a purpose.. (I feel) And I think if we want things to change, we will be the ones to change it.. But that is only my thought.. Maybe we need to MAKE them see us.. And MAKE them see the damage they cause.. we cause.. and maybe one day our world will make a change.. that is my hope anyway.. and why I still continue to push forward.. (But you don't have to agree)

    And to the difference between humans and dogs.. or any animal though.. as humans we are the only animal that rely on money or a currency to survive.. or a society.. we rely so much on each other and the only animal to really rely on technology too.. it is obviously going to affect us as a whole society because we have no other means of life.. unless you decide to break laws, live on the land, etc..

    In my mind humanity has lost it's real purpose.. we have lost the ability to actually "survive".. we more or less exist now.. but like I've said this is all my opinion..

    And for me.. the truth is in accepting all belifs as truths.. being open to all possibilities no matter how crazy they may be.. for me being open to everything and anything is truth..
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 14, 2012
  4. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Excellent observations, FS!

    I haven't been able to make anyone see us. If this was a realm within the 5 senses then it would be easy to convince someone that we can see something in life that they can't. If we need a plumber, we can hire someone and see with our own eyes whether he's getting the job done or not, whether he can see what we can't see.

    The inner life is different than the outer life. The outer is "objective" object that the 5 senses can grasp. We move through the world with our 5 senses....I repeat that because it is a major point. With the inner life, we don't explore it with the 5 senses. We sense it but differently. The inner life is "subjective". Only the self can see itself, but can't see others and others can't see our self. To another person, I am an object and through his 5 senses he can't see the state of my inner being. He will only be able to recognize in me what he can see in himself. I'm invisible to him until he's visible to himself.

    That's what makes this stuff so frustrating to share. The "higher" can see the "lower" but the lower can't see the higher. That's not an ego statement and easily seen in the plumber metaphor. Clearly when the plumber looks at plumbing, he can see what the homeowner can't, otherwise why hire him?

    And I can't show anyone what I know, the best I can hope to create is a deep trust where the other person senses something appealing but can't tell what it is but wants to be a part of it. Without that truth, there's little we can do to open the eyes of someone lost in their own ideas.

    This board is jammed packed full of sharp, brilliantly observant people but really deep into their personal ideologies and unable to trust and it's understandable but it's also a mental prison. Trust is the bridge out of this idea driven life that has failed them to the point of having the idea that death is the end of unhappiness.

    We have survived....we are surviving very very well....and because it's so easy to have food, clothing, shelter, etc..., we are bored. In that boredom we are seeing how futile daily life is, just repeating day after day. We don't know that we have to create the meaning of life. Life itself is an amazing miracle and in us is a potential to do something with that life, to create and love. No one on this board will truly heal and truly love without first recognizing the potential of life beyond mere daily existence.

    I love your last statement, being open to anything and everything...truly you are correct. Let life be the teacher and it's a tough teacher. If our ideas of how life is supposed to be don't match with life, we are handed a consequence and we call that "failure". Instead of learning from the failure, in our unconsciousness, we use that proof that we are unworthy of life and need to die. That's folly.